First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many moving traffic violations, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DMV. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for at least a year (longer if you did something really shady). Your license can be suspended if you are convicted of three moving violations within a 12-month period or if you do something extra stupid like drive drunk. That’s nothing, though. Your license can be revoked completely if you’re convicted of reckless driving, vehicular homicide, or a hit-and-run. Long story short: act right, kid.

Like a Vandal in the Wind

If you absolutely must destroy something, either break a pencil or beat up on your pillow. It’s far too costly to be caught doing anything worse, such as spray-painting graffiti onto the side of a bridge or keying your ex-boyfriend’s Mustang. If already licensed, you can lose your license for a couple years; if you’re not there yet, you can have the issuance of your license delayed for several years. And you’re going to need your license, because it sounds like you’ll have to be doing a lot of running from the authorities.

If you are convicted of injuring another person while engaging in a speed contest or otherwise driving recklessly (such as driving on two wheels along the edge of the roof of a high-rise apartment building), you can be imprisoned and fined heavily. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are in control of a large, dangerous weapon. Keep it in the holster there, Pardner.