We know; it’s going to wrinkle your outfit. You just ate a big meal, and it feels uncomfortable to strap it across your gut. When you get carjacked by a gang of armed thugs, you want to be free to leap out your window and dash to safety. Understandable.

Tough noogies. The driver and all passengers are required by law to wear a seat belt or child restraint device, and if that isn’t reason enough, they just might save your life. That would be good, because you have plans this weekend.

You must make sure that all passengers who are under eight years old, under 4’9” tall, or under 40lbs are properly harnessed in a child restraint device or seat belt. Ever seen a kid who has been flung into a window at 60 mph? You don't want to. And more importantly, you don't wanna be the idiot who didn't make them buckle up and in. Infants and children who weigh 20lbs or less must be in a rear-facing infant carrier or car seat. Children younger than 0 should be tightly buckled into their mother’s womb.

If another passenger in your vehicle is caught not wearing his or her seat belt, you can be penalized, so don’t hesitate to let the mother in you come to the surface (regardless of your gender), and be sure to nag everyone around you into being safe and responsible.

Also, don’t think that just fastening the lap belt is good enough. If you value your head and torso area as much as your pelvis and nether regions, please also use the shoulder harness.

If you’re pregnant, the lap belt should be worn beneath your abdomen (that’s where you’re keeping your baby), and the shoulder strap should be placed between your breasts. We figure this might not apply to too many of our readers, but it did give us the chance to use the word “breasts”.