If you’re under 21, you should generally hit on less than 17 unless the dealer is showing a bust card. Wait, what are we talking about here?

Oh, right. If you’re under 21 years of age:

• Robitussin: 100 Proof
What? There’s alcohol in this???
Sure is. Many medications—cough syrups, mouthwash, etc.—contain traces of alcohol. If you take any of these in excess (how bad could that cold of yours possibly be?), you could run up your BAC and be arrested for driving under the influence. And there’s nothing more humiliating than being pulled over for tripping on Listerine.

• If you are caught with alcohol in your vehicle, it can be impounded (your vehicle, not the alcohol—well, the alcohol, too). You can also be fined up to $500, which is A LOT of babysitting hours.
• If you are convicted of driving with a blood alcohol content (BAC) of 0.02% or higher or are under the influence of drugs, your driving privilege will be taken away from you for 30 days. It will temporarily be given to someone who drinks a lot of iced tea and is always in bed before ten. If you think turning down an offer of alcohol from one of your peers is embarrassing, try asking your mommy to drive you to DUI class.