First of all, it’s spelled B-O-L-O-G-N-A. Second, if you have racked up too many negligent driver points, your license will either be suspended or revoked by the DPS. You can apply for a new license at the end of this period, and hopefully you’ve changed your ways by then. Oh, sure, it starts with a few minor traffic violations here and there, but before you know it you’ll be committing grand larceny, bank fraud, and/or treason. We just don’t want to start seeing your name in the paper. Unless it’s for inventing some useful electronic gadget, or winning a peace prize. That would be pretty cool.

Each time you have a mark on your record, it stays there for at least 36 months (or longer, if you did something really shady). Your license can be suspended if you accumulate 200 points within a three-year period. If you can put up 30 points in 42 minutes, you’ll probably make tonight’s highlight reel on ESPN.

Here are a few examples of what can get you points on your driving record:

35-75-pointers

• Speeding (depending on severity)

40-pointers

• Minor moving violations

50-pointers

• Negligent collision

• Improper passing

• Failure to heed a stop sign or red light

• Any shot made in the highest basket of a mid-90s MTV Rock ‘N’ Jock Basketball game

60-pointers

• Driving the wrong way on a one-way street

• Driving on the wrong side of the road

• Tailgating

• Failure to yield right-of-way

• Rear-ending someone important, Derek Hough

80-pointers

• Reckless driving