University of Mississippi
Hallmarks and Quirks
Things I'm Good At:
- Have I said anything about our football team? The Rebels are the single best team in all of—oh, it looks like you've heard this one before.
- Two words: Frats and parties.
- TCOB. If guessing obscure acronyms isn't your strong suit, this means "taking care of business." And I have a mighty fine business school.
- Accounting. If you ever need someone to do your taxes, just ask one of my accounting grads. They're like the Lance Armstrongs of math, but without the drugs. Well, most of them.
- Education. This might seem obvious, what with me being a university and all, but I'm really talking about my top-notch education program. If you want to teach for a living, come and get your degree with me.
My Top 5 Must-Haves:
- Hotty Toddy. If you don't know what that is, don't worry—neither do I. But you better get used to saying it.
- Air conditioning. You might have experienced "summer" before, but you've never experienced a true summer until you've lived through the Southern heat of Ole Miss.
- Season football tickets. All of your friends here will be talking about "the big game," and you don't want to be left out, now.
- Good taste in music. Mississippi in general is renowned for its rich musical history, and Oxfordians in particular keep pumping out the jams. Remember Animal Collective's classic, Merriweather Post-Pavilion? Recorded in Oxford's own Sweet Tea Recording Studio. And that's just one of the classics recorded there.
- A designated driver. The nightlife is always kickin' here, so it's a good idea to have one of these guys stowed away (not literally, of course) in case you're too "imbibed" to get yourself back home. Fortunately, some enterprising people already thought of this and started a super affordable service that drives you home in your own car after you've had one too many.
Why You Might Have Heard of Me:
- I'm not proud of this—actually, I'm pretty darn ashamed—but I was really late in desegregating. In fact, it wasn't until 1962 that I allowed African-American students to study here, and that's because a brave civil rights activist named James Meredith applied here in order to help gain equal rights for his fellow African-Americans.
- Remember when John McCain ran against Barack Obama in 2008? Their first debate was held here. Man, was it hard to get a parking space that day.
- I operate the only legal marijuana farm in the nation. Since 1968, I've grown the green stuff for government medical research.
On a regular Saturday night, you can find me...
I'll be studying, of course. Nah, I'm just kiddin'. I'll probably be at City Grocery with some friends, just kickin' it and drinking imported beer.
Unless it's a game night, that is. In that case, I'll be at the Vaught-Hemingway Stadium screaming "Hotty Toddy" at the top of my lungs while the Rebels destroy yet another team.
Of course, if I'm feeling confident, I'll take a date to Bouré and hope that the Peacemaker doesn't make me sick like it did last time.
Favorite Hangouts:
- If I'm an artsy sort of person, I'll spend a good deal of time at Square Books. It's not just for squares anymore.
- The Residential Dining Hall. They actually have decent sushi, believe it or not.
- Bouré has some of the best Creole food this side of Louisiana. I recommend the Peacemaker.
- I'll let you in on Ole Miss's best-kept secret: The spot right behind Bryant Hall has one of the oldest-/coolest-looking trees in the entire state. You'll also find the philosophy professors speaking there at lunch about Kant, football, and what Kant would think about football.
Quirks:
- I've got weird alcohol regulations. For instance, if you want to drink on campus before the big game, bringing your own beer will get get you kicked out. However, if you'd like to chug a bottle of Jack, that's just fine. Bottoms up.
- All of the girls wear running shorts in the summer. All of them. It doesn't matter if they're running or not. Science has yet to explain this phenomenon.
- I have a Center for Intelligence and Security Studies (CISS) that trains future intelligence specialists for the government. Yep, I churn out future CIA agents.
Famous Alumni:
- Eli Manning, of football fame (obviously)
- James Meredith, the civil rights activist and first African-American to attend the University of Mississippi
- John Stirratt, bassist for Wilco, arguably one of the best bands ever
- William Faulkner, author and poet
- John Grisham, author of The Firm