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About Me

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Intro

Greetings from Portland, Oregon, the most bike-friendly and gluten-free city in America. Yes, that's what I'm known for; you don't need to tell me twice. But as much as Portlandia might make me look like a chill, progressive place, I know that's not really the case.

Portland was actually recently (and officially) named the most gentrified city of the century. That's a little problematic. Thousands of long-term residents are being pushed out by an influx of bearded, tattooed fixie-riders who…happen to go to my school.

But hey, while my reputation as a retirement community for twentysomethings might be the source of many of my problems, I can always count on my student body to stand up for what is right. We won't stand for unchecked privilege and injustice—even if it's our own fault. Who doesn't like their activism with a dash of irony?

It's also a good thing so many of my students are avid—no, militant—bike riders. I'm a commuter school, meaning that most people who attend me don't primarily identify as students. They come into class, get it over with, and go back to their normal lives, filled with babysitting, pet-sitting, kombucha-sitting, and preparing for the next Burning Man.

Don't get me wrong, though. The education I offer is top-notch and my programs are pretty diverse. Social work, public health, and education programs are a few of my specialties.

I offer my students a great, no-nonsense way of getting a piece of paper that will allow them to move onto the next stage of their lives. Or not. This is Portland, after all.

Name

Victor E. Viking, although approximately 90% of my students don't know this. Congratulations, you're one of the few.

Hometown

Portland, Oregon. Enough said.

Birthdate

1946

Body Type

Like any good lumbersexual, I am big and burly. I have over 30,000 students and I'm located smack dab in the middle of downtown Portland. I have an urban campus, so there isn't a clear beginning or end…just like how my beard and chest hair have merged to the point of being indistinguishable from one another. Where one ends and the other begins will be forever be a mystery.

My students are overwhelmingly hip. I have lots of tattoos that look best when I'm wearing flannel. Which I always am. 

Current Living Situation

Since I'm a commuter school, it is totally not cool to live on campus. My on-campus housing is super small and messed up. Too many rules, man. They oppress my free-spirited student body. Most people live off campus all around the city. Rent is cheap in Portland, so you would probably get a better deal living off campus anyways. Oh yeah, and it is much cooler to bike here than to walk. That car of yours? Forget about it.

We'll just pretend you don't actually contribute to greenhouse gas emissions in such a backwards and embarrassing way. Shudder.

Relationship Status

I am all about peace...if I even have any rivals, they don't bother trying to agitate me and my highly political students.

Things can get a little heated when my football team plays against Eastern Washington, but that's about it.

Politics

I am extremely liberal. Most of my instructors and professors are very open with their opinions, and demonstrations and protests happen on my campus all the time. If you are on the more conservative end of the spectrum, you might have trouble finding people who will listen to you without interrupting or rolling their eyes. Luckily I'm pretty large, so it's easy to keep a low profile.

You should apply to me if...

your tattoos make you feel self-righteous, you love to talk about your bike, you have at least three dietary restrictions, and your favorite word is "privilege," man.

Website

https://www.pdx.edu/