- Split scene: On one side of the stage we see Joe and Louis in bed; Joe is awake and Louis is asleep. On the other side of the stage we see Harper standing in her apartment wearing a natty nightgown.
- Harper slips the nightgown off and stands in her bra and panties.
- Joe's mom Hannah comes in. She's glad Harper finally took off the nightgown. Hannah gives Harper a dress to put on and combs her hair.
- Hannah says she's been trying to get in touch with Joe but he's avoiding her because he's ashamed.
- "I miss his penis," says Harper (3.1.11).
- "And I'm sure you'll understand if I don't feel comfortable discussing that," replies Hannah (3.1.12).
- Hannah says she's going to finish getting ready, then they can go.
- Through some magic ability, Harper sees Joe in Louis' apartment. She crosses into Louis' apartment, saying "Don't worry, I'm not really here. I have terrible powers. I see more than I want to see. Maybe I'm a witch" (3.1.14).
- Joe tells her she's not a witch.
- "I could be a witch. Why not? I married a fairy," Harper replies (3.1.16).
- Louis stirs in bed, but Joe tells him to go back to sleep.
- Harper tells Joe that he called her there. Joe denies doing any such thing, but she insists he did.
- Harper admits that she must magically be there to see him any way she possibly can.
- She points out that Joe is in love with Louis. Harper tells her husband that he can't save Louis and that he's pathetic.
- She vanishes.
- Louis wakes up.
- He says he had a weird nightmare where he and Joe went to a restaurant to celebrate having spent a month in bed. When they got there, though, it was some kind crazy temple, and there was a really angry woman there. Louis says that in the dream "it turned out that [Joe was] a member of some bizarre religious sect, like a Moonie or a Rajnishi or a Mormon or something" (3.1.37).
- Joe stares at Louis for a second and says, "I am. I am a Mormon" (3.1.38).
- "Huh," says Louis (3.1.39).