Confessions Suffering Quotes

How we cite our quotes: (Book.Section.Paragraph)

Quote #4

Where could my heart find refuge from itself? Where could I go, yet leave myself behind? Was there any place where I should not be a prey to myself? None. (IV.7.1)

If only we could turn suffering off like a light switch. But, as Augustine points out, suffering isn't something that exists outside of ourselves. So why does it feel that way? And even more than that, why does Augustine make it sound like his heart is the one beating up itself? Where is all of this suffering coming from? With phrases like "prey to myself" and "refuge from myself," Augustine sure is making it sound like he is the cause of his own suffering. And we have to agree with him, here, because he is the one refusing to give up on sex in order to save his own soul.

Quote #5

You were there before my eyes, but I had deserted even my own self. I could not find myself, much less find you. (V.2.3)

Wow, talk about an about-face from that last quote. Now Augustine is talking about looking for God, and not seeing him because he himself doesn't realize the extent of his own erring. Even though before he was talking about not being able to escape himself. Here, he's conveying suffering through the idea of separation and isolation; but it's not just isolation from God, but isolation from himself, too. Does Augustine mean to say that he had given up on himself? Does he mean that he didn't know who he was or wanted to be? What exactly does it mean to be lost anyway?

Quote #6

As for myself, life at Carthage was a real misery and I loathed it: but the happiness I hoped to find at Rome was not real happiness. (V.8.3)

Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. Ever think that a change of scenery will solve all of your problems? Well, that only works if scenery was the issue to begin with. Augustine is misdiagnosing his malaise; it's not Carthage that's making him miserable, but his own inadequate soul. Remember what he says in the previous two quotes about (1) not being able to escape from himself and (2) not being able to find himself? So you could understand this move as either running from himself or looking for himself—or both.