How we cite our quotes: (Book.Chapter.Page)
Quote #7
And just as before she had many glorious visions and high contemplation upon the manhood of our Lord, upon our Lady, and upon many other holy saints, even so now she had horrible and abominable visions—despite anything she could do—of seeing men's genitals, and other such abominations. (I.59.183-184)
A crucial part of the contemplative life is leaving behind the concerns of the body. And this especially means giving up on the pleasures—or sins—of the flesh. Whenever Kempe feels temptation to sin, it's often a lusty kind of sin, and this time is no exception. Kempe's vow of chastity—both in thought and action—comes under siege when Jesus takes away his companionship for twelve days. It's excruciating to her.
Quote #8
She thought that all her joy was gone. She saw her Lord ascend up into heaven, yet she could not do without him on earth [...] Such holy thoughts and holy desires caused her to weep, and people did not know what was wrong with her. (I.73.214)
Sometimes, when Kempe does everything right and feels spiritually on point, suffering is her reward. It can hard to wrap our minds around this, but Kempe does feel that this ability to empathize with Christ is a gift. Don't worry if you don't get it—her neighbors didn't, either.
Quote #9
And then, when she was barren in this way, she could find no joy or comfort in food or drink, or chat, but was always glum of face and manner until God would send tears to her again, and then she was happy enough. (I.82.240)
Jesus makes it clear that he is in control of Kempe's tears. This often makes life difficult for her socially. But without her tears, Kempe really doesn't know what to do with herself. Whenever Jesus decides to withdraw them from her, it's like she loses a little bit of her identity.