Hitting the Mountain
- As you might have suspected, in this chapter Paul and Tony hit the mountain.
- It's not really a mountain—just a hill—but they like to climb it, and Tony will do just about anything to get out of the house.
- What he has to do today: tell his parents he's going somewhere with a girl from his school named Mary Catherine Elizabeth and walk two blocks to the Laundromat, where Paul and Jay are waiting in the getaway car.
- The mountain is Tony's special place, and he lived there for a week after his mom found a gay magazine in his room.
- But wait—it wasn't even that kind of gay magazine; it was just a copy of The Advocate, but that was enough to make her flip out.
- The way Tony's parents flip out: by praying out loud in front of him, begging God to deliver him.
- So they didn't actually kick him out, but sleeping on a mountain was way preferable to listening to his parents tell God over and over how disappointed they were in him.
- Tony called every day though, and he still went to school. What a good kid, right? Eventually he went back home, and his parents promised to pray quieter, but they didn't stop praying.
- On their hike, Tony asks Paul about Noah and Kyle.
- Paul fills Tony in on the situation, then asks Tony how he's doing.
- Tony says he's fine, which isn't an adequate answer, so Paul makes a game-show-buzzer noise.
- Tony laments his lack of a boyfriend and his lack of ability to go find one; Paul tells Tony what an amazing person he is and that someday his prince will come.
- Then he gives Tony a hug, which is where things get really messy: Tony's mom's best friend is hiking up the mountain at the same time and sees them.