The Great Brain John Dennis Fitzgerald, a.k.a. J.D. Quotes

"Please let me go," I begged, more afraid than I'd ever been in my life.

"Stop blubbering," Sweyn ordered me, "or I'll tell Papa you acted like a coward and disgraced the name of Fitzgerald before all these kids." (3.35-36)

You'd think J.D. was being held captive by bandits rather than learning to swim, right? To be fair, we doubt Tom and Sweyn are using a YMCA-approved swim training curriculum.

I put my arm around Tom's shoulders. "Old S.D. certainly has courage," I said. "He didn't even cry."

"That was an act put on for Mamma and Papa," Tom said. "As soon as the train gets around the bend he will need that extra handkerchief Mamma put in his pocket." (7.7-8)

Tom doesn't think a lot of his brothers in the courage department—or in the brains department. Or maybe he's just trying to show that he's not upset by S.D.'s departure. We bet he's going straight home to see if Sweyn left anything in his piggy bank.

"But Mamma," I protested, "I never get a chance to catch a disease first. Sweyn will be all well just when Tom and I are getting sick. And when Tom catches a disease first, he is all well just when Sweyn and I are getting sick. It ain't fair, Mamma." (2.13)

When we were J.D.'s age, we were dreaming about a new Nintendo. We sure were lucky to come around after childhood vaccinations were a thing, or we would've been dreaming about getting the mumps over with.