How we cite our quotes: (Page) Vintage Books, 1989
Quote #1
Not, of course, that I fool myself with thoughts that I'm more noble. Pointless, ridiculous monster crouched in the shadows, stinking of dead men, murdered children, martyred cows. (I am neither proud nor ashamed, understand. One more dull victim, leering at seasons that were never meant to be observed.) "Ah, sad one, poor old freak!" (6)
Grendel opens his life story with the firm belief that he is and always will be on the outside of everything: he's a freak of nature, an omnivorous murderer, a creature that has no business existing at all.
Quote #2
So it goes with me day by day and age by age, I tell myself. Locked in the deadly progression of moon and stars. I shake my head, muttering darkly on shaded paths, holding conversation with the only friend and comfort this world allows, my shadow. (8)
Gardner emphasizes the dark imagery here to show Grendel's guilty, secretive nature—but also to highlight the misery he finds in that predestined path he has to follow. Grendel doesn't really understand why he's in this lonely, awful position—he just keeps plodding on as the seasons progress.
Quote #3
When her strange eyes burned into me, it did not seem quite sure. I was intensely aware of where I sat, the volume of darkness I displaced, the shiny-smooth span of packed dirt between us, and the shocking separateness from me in my mama's eyes. I would feel, all at once, alone and ugly, almost—as if I'd dirtied myself—obscene. (17)
Alone and not alone: this seems to be one of more difficult aspects of Grendel's cursed existence. He's so close to having someone in his life that he can talk to—and yet so far. He almost gets the kind of love from his mother that a child should—but not quite. Because his mother physically (and probably intellectually) can't talk to him, she can only stare at the child she has brought into suffering and grieve. Yikes.