How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
"I'm afraid to have another girlfriend—I don't even look for one, because I wouldn't trust her anyway. I spend my time with Birdie and Gio now, but sometimes I'm even afraid with them." (9.53)
Poor Marisol—once bitten, twice shy. She's scared to open herself up again, because with it comes the potential for more pain. Eventually she gets over this fear, though, allowing herself to escape from its clutches.
Quote #5
"So I took all the sadness of the divorce, and all the love I'd once had for both of you, and all the fear I had of being alone, and turned it into a stone wall to hide behind. To protect myself. I'm so protected now, dear Mother, sometimes I feel like I'm barely alive. I am immune to emotion. And I hate you for it." (10.59)
John's letter to his mom shows how scared he is of what can happen to him in life, especially when he's so sheltered. Sure, his parents give him a place to live and food, but he doesn't feel like that actually gets him anywhere. What happens when all that goes away? What does he do then?
Quote #6
I didn't read it right away; I had to calm down first. I was a frigging mess just imagining getting through this whole prom event. In fact, my nerves had been shot ever since I wrote those letters to my parents. Marisol hadn't mentioned that side effect. It was like my skin had all of a sudden been turned nerve-side-out. The letters were hidden under a pile of socks and boxers in a drawer, but I'd have to move them somewhere else or give up changing my under-wear. Every time I opened that drawer a cold wind shook me like some kind of supernatural force. (11.16)
A letter from Marisol has the potential to cause major harm to John, which is why it makes him freak out so much. He's not just scared of having friends—he's also scared of what happens when he's vulnerable with them.