Nefertem's Conversations

Nefertem's Conversations

Wall

Did you hear?

No, tell me.

Seth killed Osiris!

WHAT? No! Oh no he didn't!

Oh yes he did. Isis is sooooo mad.

I bet! Does Horus the Younger know?

…I didn't until now.

Oops.

Hey, before you go all medieval on Seth, let's talk.

Horus?!

Son, I got the perfume you sent me.

Awesome! What'd you think?

It stinks.

…in a good way?

It smells like flowers.

Of course it smells like flowers, Mom. I made it out of flowers.

I told you I wanted something that reminded me of beer and blood.

Um…

It's hard to stay in the killing mood when everything smells like happiness, you know?

I guess. Well, you can send it back, if you want.

I'll take it.

Or you can send it to Hathor?

I love flowers! Happy to take it off your paws, sis.

About that landscaping on the Karnak temple job…

What's wrong with it, Dad?

It's too pretty. Nobody wants to go inside the temple because they're spending hours in the gardens. And Amun's angry that his offerings are down due to the lack of visitors.

Oh. That's bad.

Yes, it is.

How about trees? He likes myrrh, right? We could get some myrrh trees imported from Punt.

Sounds good. Tear up the gardens, put in a row of myrrh trees, check.

And maybe tell the priests to start taking the flowers indoors? That way, not only can Amun and Mut enjoy them, but also the temple will smell better and people will want to visit!

Are you suggesting my temple smells, young man?

No sir! I just meant it would encourage more people to go inside, if they're spending time outside to look at the flowers!

I know. I'm just messing with you.

Dad! Amun's picking on me.

Keeps you on your toes, doesn't it? Let's get this project finished.

likes this.

Ahhhh, Paris! Why can't we have Fashion Week in Egypt, Mom?

Well, everybody wears the same three colors, for one thing. And there's only so much you can do with linen.

True, true. But just think of what I could do with Nefertari! And I'm sure Ramses would love it if his wife were even hotter than she already is.

Ramses

Is that even possible?

Nefertari

Aw, honey.

Ramses

It's true, baby. You're the best.

Get a room! I'm gonna get diabetes in here. You two are just too sweet.

Bro, I got a problem.

What's up?

Demons.

Ew. So kill them. What's the problem?

They're foreign demons. Some princess got possessed, and the king wants to send me to their country to save her.

A damsel in distress! Maybe she's gorgeous.

Maybe. But it's a desert, and it's super far from home.

It's a demon and an all-expenses paid vacation for you. Maybe you'll get some new followers. Why so glum?

I really like traveling, you're right. But what if I get stuck there? What if they forget to ship me back or try to kidnap me?

Quit moping. Just put on your big god pants and do it.

likes this.

likes this.

Fine. See you whenever.