How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #10
"What am I doing?"
And out of the semi-intoxicated trance came the answer:
"Destroying myself."
Then a dull, live feeling, gone in an instant, told him that it was wrong. After a while, suddenly came the question:
"Why wrong?"
Again there was no answer, but a stroke of hot stubbornness inside his chest resisted his own annihilation. (15.10-15.15)
Here, Paul finally realizes the direct connection between hiding one's pain and killing oneself. Still, he can't think of any logical reason to keep on living, which is why he asks himself the question, "Why wrong?" In the end, it's a "stroke of hot stubbornness" that keeps him from killing himself. Just as he won't sacrifice his individuality to be with Miriam, he won't sacrifice his life to alcohol.