- Jerry, a weary, carelessly dressed guy in his thirties comes upon Peter, a middle-aged guy in tweed, sitting on a bench in Central Park.
- Jerry announces he's been to the zoo (thus the title of the play: The Zoo Story. Clever, huh?).
- Peter doesn't hear him at first, so Jerry has to yell at him. Peter is reluctant to talk, but Jerry keeps at him, because that's the way Jerry is.
- They chatter and Jerry continues to ask pushy questions somewhat inappropriately.
- It turns out that Peter is married and has two girls. He's not going to have any more kids, even though he seems to want a son.
- Peter gets cranky at Jerry's probing, but then lets him probe on anyway. Bad move, Peter.
- Peter reveals he has parakeets and cats. Also that he makes $18,000 a year, which would be around $145,000 a year in today's money. That's a hefty salary.
- Jerry keeps making elliptical comments about the zoo, but doesn't ever explain what happened there or why it's important. Peter is curious, but Jerry keeps putting him off.
- Peter thinks for a moment that Jerry is from the Village, an area of New York known for its bohemianism—it's a place for artists, as well as a center of gay and lesbian culture. Jerry says he's not from there, though.
- Jerry goes into a long rant about how he lives in a crappy apartment. He vents about a black, gay man who lives near him and a Puerto Rican family. He seems disgusted by them.
- Jerry isn't super nice, in case you missed that, Shmoopers.
- Anyway, prompted by Peter, he goes on, talking about how he doesn't have much. He mentions that he has pornographic playing cards and empty picture frames.
- Peter asks about the empty picture frames. Jerry explains that his parents are dead. He tells a lurid story about his mother's adultery and his father's death in a car accident. He sounds jovial about it.
- He says after his parents' death he went to his aunt's, and that she died on the same day that he graduated from high school.
- Should Shmoop believe Jerry about all of this? He doesn't seem like the most trustworthy source, necessarily.
- Anyway, Peter and Jerry introduce themselves here; this is the first time you hear their names, technically.
- Then Jerry goes on babbling…he talks about his sex life. He has brief sexual encounters with women, but the one passion of his life was when he was fifteen and was in love with an older boy.
- Jerry starts to talk to Peter about the pornographic playing cards, which embarrasses Peter. Then Jerry brings up the zoo again.
- At last, you'll learn about the zoo.
- But no. Will you ever learn about the zoo? No. You won't. Frustrating. That's the kind of play it is.
- And Jerry goes on and on; now he's talking about how awful and disgusting his landlady is and how she keeps coming on to him sexually.
- He puts her off by telling her they had sex the day before; she's so confused that she can't remember.
- But he's more interested in telling Peter about her dog, which is huge and black.
- Peter is surprised that people like the landlady exist. It's not clear why he's sticking around to listen to Jerry natter on. He'll be sorry later.
- And Jerry goes on about the dog again. This is the longest speech in the play (and it's just about halfway through…almost like Albee planned it that way. He's tricky.)
- The dog is huge and mean and scary, and every time it sees Jerry, Jerry says, it attacks him.
- So Jerry tries to make peace with the dog. He buys meat, and gives it to the dog every time he comes in.
- The dog eats the meat and then attacks Jerry anyway.
- Okay, fine, dog, Jerry says, we'll see about that. So he poisons the dog's meat with rat poison.
- The dog gets sick, but it doesn't die.
- Jerry hopes that he and the dog will be friends now, since he's loved it and tried to kill it (Jerry has a problematic way of displaying affection).
- He hopes that the dog will understand. He goes on a rant about how he wants a relationship with something, even a cockroach. Which seems extreme. Communing with a cockroach? Bleh.
- But instead, the dog and he just ignore each other now. He is sad.
- Peter doesn't understand all this rambling, and who can really blame him.
- Peter also says he needs to leave soon.
- Jerry is a little disappointed, but then he starts poking at Peter again, verbally and then literally.
- Jerry tickles Peter, who is very ticklish. He giggles on his bench.
- While he's giggling, Peter burbles about how he needs to get home, where the parakeets are getting dinner ready and the cats are setting the table.
- Whimsy.
- Jerry offers to tell the story of the zoo again. He says he went there to learn about relations between animals and people.
- Then he starts poking Peter to get him to move over on the bench.
- The poking escalates, and eventually Jerry demands that Peter give up the bench.
- Peter says, no way, you jerk, this is my bench. Which seems reasonable.
- Peter calls for the police. Then he gets ready to fight Jerry.
- Jerry keeps insulting him and saying he's not really a man.
- Jerry pulls out a knife, which freaks Peter out, but then Jerry gives him the knife.
- Peter is goaded into telling Jerry to go away, holding the knife.
- This is the big action finish.
- Jerry throws himself onto the knife.
- Peter is really freaked out, as one would be.
- As Jerry dies he says how grateful he's been to talk to Peter, and says he'll tell him about the zoo, but he doesn't really.
- He tells Peter to go away or someone will find him, and also points out that he won't ever come back to his bench, probably. Which seems right; Shmoop wouldn't ever go back to that bench if Shmoop were Peter.
- Peter runs away. Jerry dies.
- And you never do get to find out what happened at the darn zoo.