How we cite our quotes: Chapter.Paragraph
Quote #4
"Excellent. Send her my love. Use a condom. Try not to talk about your job too much—you know the effect it has on women." (12.37
Wait, does God really need to use a condom? And what happens if he doesn't? Excuse us, we're going go hide before we get smote (smited? smitten?) for that heretical question. But before we go, this does raise a serious question: exactly how much like humans is Bob?
Quote #5
"Can't you just do the usual? Appear to her in a vision, give her a stigmata or two, blacken up your eyes, assume your most mournful expression? Don't they always fall for the hollow-eyed holy-seer thing?" Mr. B recognized the cycle: unrequited lust, idealized passion, consummation . . . and then he'd be on to the next, leaving the latest victim seduced, ruined and abandoned. What was wrong with him that (in how many dozens of millennia?) he'd never managed to learn anything useful from experience? (12.64)
Here's a radical idea: maybe Bob should just try being himself instead of acting all holy-seer. Or—better idea—maybe he should try dating someone his own age. (As in, immortal.)
Quote #6
She sank lower and lower toward sleep; waves of drowsiness lulled her softly, like long strokes of a hand, slowly, lower and lower, two hands now, each cupping a buttock and then moving, edging carefully down between her . . . Oh my giddy aunt , she thought, shooting upright in the dark. He's here! I can actually feel his fingers! (15.22)
Whoa. This is getting a little too real for us, Shmoopers—and it's getting a little too real for Lucy, too. But check her out: God is totally molesting her, and the worst phrase she can come up with is "Oh my giddy aunt." Now that is a good girl.