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Thank you We sneak up in the bible One chronicles

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Hey all cecil b de shmoop herewith another thrilling edition

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of i told you to go to medical school and

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other things My mom still says to me daily maybe

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we'll save that for another time today i'm here to

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give you the scoop on the first book of chronicles

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If you've been following along you may realize that you've

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seen this all before One chronicles is pretty much a

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recap of the history of israel from adam all the

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way teo you know in the solomon proving that even

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in biblical times there were no new ideas Anyway the

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israel lights had just been released from their babylonian exile

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which happened after the persians took power They were going

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home and they needed to regain their heritage They needed

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stories from their great pass to get them going again

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They needed teo stop at a seven eleven and load

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up on snacks for the road You know some manna

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stuff So one chronicles begins with genealogies nine whole chapters

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of them and then tells the story of king david

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it's a bit whitewash though none of that messy groups

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got another man's wife pregnant and then had him killed

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L oh well hash tag Yolo stuff Yeah David becomes

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king after the death of saul the first king of

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israel david spends most of his time Is king fighting

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the enemies of israel and turns out he's really good

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at it Philistine xhm oa bites ammonites and even ara

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means none of them stand a chance against king david

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Are you starting to see why this might be a

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good story for a people who have been exiled for

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generations in glory days galore david continues winning battles and

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even brings the ark of the covenant to jerusalem before

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george lucas takes it for a movie at first is

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placed in a tent which we hope got some pretty

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stellar yelp reviews but then david starts to feel guilty

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he's like i have this awesome house but the aren't

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just has a little tent and god is like chill

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dude The tent has five stars on yelp free wifi

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and a continental breakfast before ten a m also it's

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totally okay for now because one of your sons will

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eventually build a temple for the ark so things are

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going smoothly for david Any israel light's a little too

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smoothly And there's One thing we know will disrupt peace

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and quiet It's a plague No not a plague huh

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Maybe famine still know How about abba announcing a reunion

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tour All right strike three All right So what did

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david do to get got all riled up Well hold

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onto your seats because this is a doozy He conducted

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a census Yep Serious A census you know How old

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are you How much money do you make What do

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you think you pay in taxes this year That senses

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and god was not happy with david So he offers

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him and choice of punishments Three years of famine three

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months of foreign attacks for three days of wrath and

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pestilence Well david decides to go with the short and

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sweet and god plagues the country for three days Seventy

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thousand people die david's Like now i gotta take a

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new census and then has to immediately send a thousand

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j k's to god Not a humor full guy So

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david beg forgiveness from god and build an altar for

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him He also buys got a snickers bar just in

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case he was you know angry or something Yeah god

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relents the plagues go away and david decides he really

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doesn't need to know how many people are in his

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kingdom after all since this bi dan so after all

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the census nonsense is done david starts to gather money

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and materials to build the temple but he won't be

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building it God dropped him a line saying he can't

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build it because he has so much blood on his

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hands what with fighting all the time you know but

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god's like your son is going to be way calmer

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and never take a census so he can build the

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temple While the last thing that david does before giving

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over the crown to solomon is to tell him that

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being faithful that god is the most important thing he

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could do is king and too seriously never ever take

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a census unless he's completely census lists and god chimes

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in also steer clear of terrible puns just my two

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census and presumably he and david shared an awesome air

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five anyway solomon comes to power with nary a pun

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to be heard and the first book of chronicles is

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over Join me next time for the second book of

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chronicles Until then i'm cecil b de shmoop and this

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has been it's not too late to go back to

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law school Look at your sister She picked such a 00:04:40.568 --> [endTime] stable career Yeah right mom sitio

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