ShmoopTube

00:04

The Lady of Shalott, a la Shmoop.

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Back in the day I was The Lady of Shalott. [Woman talking]

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Emphasis on The.

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As in the only one.

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There simply were no other ladies.

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But don’t get too excited – there weren’t any men, either.

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Nope, it was just little ol’ me in my tower on the lonely island of Shalott. [Woman looking unhappy in the window of a tall tower]

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I was kind of like the Statue of Liberty except, you know, alive. [The womans face on the Statue of Liberty]

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Watching over all those people living their lives in such a cool city across the water… [Footage of New York]

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But don't feel too bad for Lady Liberty.

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At least she gets visitors.

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Sometimes I would start singing, just to freak out the reapers working below.

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(Singing) At first I was afraid, I was petrified... [Woman dancing in the window]

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I know…I'd be a ringer in karaoke.

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You’re probably wondering "hey, if you didn't have karaoke, how'd you spend your time?" [Worker waiting for the Grim Reaper]

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Excellent question.

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Most of the time, I just played Guitar Hero.

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But when I wasn't doing that, I was pretty big on weaving this magic web. [Woman drops toy guitar and walks over to loom]

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I know.

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I'd also be a huge hit at parties.

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Why did I do all this?

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Well, if I ever stopped working on my web and looked outside, I was going to be cursed. [Woman looks outside and looks unhappy]

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…At least I thought I’d be cursed. [Woman is struck by lightning and sets on fire]

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I heard a rumor on TMZ….

01:06

…Huh.

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When I say it out loud, it makes me sound a little gullible.

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Anyway, I also had a magic mirror, which showed “shadows of the world.” [Woman looks into the mirror]

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Yes, you heard right.

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Magic mirror.

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Not gonna lie, it was a pretty sweet tower, even if it was missing a karaoke machine.

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Like…this thing could've been on MTV Cribs: Tower Edition. [The tower on TV]

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Anyway, I could see all sorts of people from outside of my tower

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with this mirror, but they were always a little fuzzy.

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And whatever I saw in my mirror, I’d weave into my web. [Pictures of poeple show in the mirror]

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…I'm not saying my web was the most interesting thing in the world…lots of harvesting and…meandering…

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But, of course, things didn't stay like that forever. [Man reading a scroll]

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That’d be a pretty boring story…

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Everything changed when I saw him.

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Sir Lancelot.

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I only caught a glimpse of him in my mirror, but let me tell you, he was something. [Sir Lancealot riding a horse]

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Seriously.

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He made my Ryan Gosling poster look like a sad Muppet. [Poster falls to the floor]

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…Sorry, Ry.

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But when I saw Sir Lancelot, I forgot all about that silly curse.

02:00

I was tired of seeing men in mirrors.

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I wanted the real thing. [Woman looks upset and walks over to the window]

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So I stepped away from my loom and looked out the window.

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Big mistake.

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Remember that curse I mentioned?

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Yeah…it was real.

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Score one for TMZ reporting.

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When I looked outside, my mirror cracked and my web flew apart. [It starts to rain]

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Which was kind of a bummer. [The web flies out the window]

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I hadn't even Instagrammed it yet.

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I knew I was in trouble, so I bolted from my tower and set forth towards the river. [Woman running for the door]

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It was time to accept my destiny.

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And maybe do some karaoke, if I had the time… [Woman singing in the rain]

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(Singing)

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One rousing rendition of 'My Heart Will Go On' later, I found a boat, wrote

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my name on it, got comfy, and let it float down the river.

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That was pretty much all she-wrote for good-ol’ me.

02:45

I died on the boat, and I didn’t even get to see Camelot. [Woman dead in the boat]

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So much for that Groupon to tour the Round Table…

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But hey, at least I didn’t go unnoticed.

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When my body washed up in Camelot, a bunch of wealthy, noble people gathered round, [Men see the boat with the Lady of Shallot inside]

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wondering what had happened.

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Sounds like an episode of CSI, doesn’t it?

03:00

Then Lancelot showed up and was like, "hey, she's got a lovely face, this lady of Shalott." [Sir Lancealot arrives on his horse]

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Which would've been the perfect rom-com scenario if I hadn't been….y'know…dead.

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Anyway, that's my story.

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And if you take one thing away from my tale, let it be this: always listen to TMZ reporting. [TMZ logo on the TV]

03:17

…That was the point, right? [Woman shrugs and holds her arms up]

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