ShmoopTube

00:00

The merchant of venice a'la

00:06

Shmoop no that one friend you got me in a

00:10

bit of a mooch always short a sixpence for his

00:13

morning coffee Never pays for his own nether hose and [Friends outside cafe]

00:16

wants to split the check after ordering roast peacock I'm

00:21

not really upset about it Bassanio was a great

00:23

guy Still he doesn't exactly make good on his debt

00:27

So i didn't get too excited when he came up

00:29

with a scheme to repay me by marrying some rich

00:32

lady named porsche since rich ladies don't really go for [Portia appears]

00:35

guys dressed like hobos Hassan eo needed the proper swag

00:39

Tp win portia's heart don't we mean which of course

00:43

meant more moolah I was a little short myself since

00:46

most of my cash was tied up in risky ocean

00:48

ventures Lucky for bassanio I'm an awesome friend I

00:52

sent him We ask shylock the jewish moneylender for a

00:55

loan under my name Not gonna lie There was a [Antonio bear appears]

00:59

lot of bad blood between me and shylock I put

01:02

the eye in the anti semite Yeah on a good

01:05

guy But hey my ship was coming in literally so

01:08

i could pay him back New sweat Shylock did have

01:11

one Bizarre request though if i couldn't pay him back

01:14

he wanted a pound of my flesh Yeah really It [Man holding knife]

01:20

didn't help matters when shylocks daughter jessica ran away with

01:23

my buddy lorenzo and try locks money I had a [Jessica and Lorenzo running away]

01:26

feeling that my pound of flesh debt was being upgraded

01:28

to a metric ton But sania was making good with

01:32

porsche though he passed her father's random test Kind of

01:35

like the and got the girl I hated to be

01:39

a debbie downer at this time but when my wonderful [Man typing on macbook]

01:42

money ships were lost at sea well i sent them

01:44

a good bye letter Hasani who immediately sailed to the

01:47

rescue with a bunch of cash and a ring he

01:50

promised porsche never ever to take off But shylock wasn't

01:54

in it for the money At this point i was

01:56

ready to kiss my butt goodbye when strangely pretty lawyer

02:00

walked this new guy baltazar agreed that i owed shylocks [Balthazar appears]

02:04

a pound of my flesh Thanks for the help buddy

02:07

Then he offered shylock three times the money i owed

02:10

him If the money lender would let me keep all

02:12

my body parts you know no deal But then things

02:16

got interesting baltazar whipped out this awesome last minute save [Balthazar holding paper]

02:21

shylock was entitled to his antonio fillet but he couldn't

02:25

spill any blood or he'd be breaking the law against

02:28

harming christians hurray for one sided legal protection shylocks started back

02:33

pedal then and said he'd take the triple fee But

02:36

my whiz kid lawyer said shylock wasn't getting anything but

02:39

execution for trying to kill a christian However being the

02:42

nice guy that i am i let him keep his

02:44

money and his life if he agreed to will his

02:46

cash to jessica Oh and i made him convert to [Shylock converting to Christian]

02:49

my religion julia good thing i'm a gracious winner I

02:53

wanted to pay our legal eagle but all baltazar wanted

02:56

was hassan eos ring the one he was never ever

02:59

supposed to take off weird but you can't argue with

03:03

talent Bassanio who's in big trouble when he got home

03:06

but porsche had a surprise for him Oh these kids

03:08

and their shenanigans So everything was great and my ship

03:12

finally came in after all literally talk about happy endings [Man standing on ship]

Full Transcript