ShmoopTube

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The Raven a la Shmoop.

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Once upon a midnight breezy while I sat a little queasy Wishing I'd not eaten

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that last bowl of caramel fudge galore...

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Suddenly there came a flutter like the sound of melted butter Being thrown against the

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shutters in a home improvement store.

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Not that that's a thing that I have ever ever done before.

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I just used margarine nothing more.

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The midnight oil I was burning all my heart was full of yearning Yearning for

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the girl I loved and maybe also for some s'mores I had the chocolate and

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a fire to fulfill my hearts desire But was the quick mart open late or

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did I have to wait till 4 I used to go there twice a week

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to buy marshmallows by the score...

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With my club card and Lenore.

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That tapping noise I started finding on my last nerve now was grinding Giving me

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a blinding migraine like Id never had before.

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So over my bathrobe tripping bleary eyed and slippers slipping Finally the doorknob gripping I

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unlocked that flipping door Yelling Hey enough already I poked my head outside the door... Garden gnomes...and nothing more.

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So I turned my temper snippy wishing I could get a grippy On the throat

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of that delinquent playing tricks outside my door.

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All I need is peace and quiet.

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A burglar system should I buy it Or would the power fry it like that

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microwave I broke before Could I return another burned or would it harm my credit

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score I'll ask the tech guys at the store.

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So I went back to my spot my dander up my nerves all shot.

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Which chapter was I on now was it this one or the one before When

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from the window there began a racket so I quickly ran Faster than a cheetah

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can to solve this mysterys encore.

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Dont know what I was looking for; a branch a breeze or something more Perhaps

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a message from Lenore But there was no ghost or letter instead a giant raven

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entered Swooping in to land dead center on a piece of fine dcor.

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I wasnt pleased this beast had flown its way into my tidy home And so

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I grabbed the telephone to call the cops and marine corps There is a raven

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in my house Please send your best men to my door The creature muttered Nevermore

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As you can imagine I was shocked to hear the bird reply So I looked

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it in the eye and waited to hear something more.

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There was no more verbal action but he was a nice distraction Though he only

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had a fraction of the brains this human wore.

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Youre a clever bird I pondered Wonder where you lived before Dont you have a

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collar or an owner you are looking for Growled the Raven Nevermore.

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Cute I said A neato trick.

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Nice timing too youre pretty slick.

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Almost makes up for the roadkill Ive seen your kind eat before.

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But I know your type you see all nice and friendly then you flee Like

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all the buddies who ditched me when I just needed their support.

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A couple crying sessions and those cowards run right for the door.

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Sniffed the raven Nevermore.

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Could it be that you are psychic I could use a birdie sidekick And perhaps

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you'd help this guy check up a little on Lenore.

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For many years we were an item and my life she sure did brighten.

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Now I'm hoping you'll enlighten me bout the gal I adore.

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Ive got eight balls & Ouija boards Lets go what are you waiting for...

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The raven gave a little snore.

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Focus bird I pleaded praying.

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"From the topic you are straying.

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And my patience you are fraying cough it up now tell me more...

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Can't you see I'm feeling tragic Please just use your birdie magic.

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You don't need no stinking badge it won't be difficult I'm sure Cmon now help

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a fella out and reunite me with Lenore Squawked the raven Nevermore Seriously I shouted coldly.

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Can you crush my dreams so boldly Man I bet your birdie soul is rotten

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right through to its core.

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Besides you jerk I'm really sad.

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Lenore is dead.

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I miss her bad.

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And I think you're quite a cad to rub it in my face some more.

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All right last chance you scruffy heathen can I speak to my Lenore Smirked the raven Nevermore.

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That's it The camels back is broken.

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Get out scram now no more croakin'.

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Leave no feather as a token saying you were here before...

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Take with you your doom and gloom Remove your buns from out my room Or

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I shall take my trusty broom and make your backside really sore.

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Yes I will take my broom and shove it where no broom has gone before

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Wheezed the raven Nevermore That was many years ago and still the raven just wont go.

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And theres more poop upon the floor than ever poop there was before His nest

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ruins my feng shui he likes to sit in my parfait And hes got

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this crazy gaze that burns into my very pores.

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And will I ever be delivered from this roommate I deplore I know the answer....Nevermore NOTE end of file

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