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The Tempest….a la Shmoop I used to be somebody, a big deal, a VIP.

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Prospero, the DUKE of Milan. [Man stood on a boat]

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I was even an amateur magician…seriously, I was a real hit at birthday parties. [A dove is thrown into a hat and turns into red smoke]

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Not to brag, but my daughter Miranda's birthdays were the social event of the year.

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But then my little brother Antonio, the cheat, plotted with the King of Naples, Alonso, the [Antonio looking mischievous]

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jerk, to steal my dukedom away from me.

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So they kidnapped Miranda and myself, put us on a Tinker Toy boat and… bon voyage! [Prospero and Miranda tied up on a boat]

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We were exiled.

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Good thing my buddy Gonzalo packed a few goody boxes.

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Most were full of things like Sudoku, or People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive issue, but one

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of them contained something important…. [Box of toilet paper, magic tricks and Harry Potter]

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….my magic books.

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This is where we landed - not a resort or beach party in sight … [Prospero sat on a box on some rocks]

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Not exactly the "warm welcome" you'd hope for.

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Then I met the locals - a nasty witch, Sycorax and her caveman son, Caliban.

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And let me tell you…Caliban? [Sign saying beware of Caliban]

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This guy wasn't going to be named People's Sexiest Man Alive anytime soon.

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He looked like the love child of the wicked witch of the west and Bigfoot. [Man missing a tooth in a cave]

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My apologies to both the witch and Bigfoot for that terrible comparison…

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I learned that Sycorax had trapped a spirit named Ariel in a tree. [Boy disappears into a tree trunk]

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And worst of all – she was trying to turn her cheap magic tricks on Miranda and me.

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But I'm the the premier party entertainer of Milan three year's straight for nothing.

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I sent her back to Hogwarts, freed Ariel and enslaved Caliban. [Prospero sends the witch flying away]

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He wasn't exactly a happy camper with me as his new master, but….he learned to deal.

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Fast forward 12 years and here’s my Miranda - now a teenager.

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She had to grow up with no malls, cell service, BFFs – and absolutely no boyfriends. [Girl looking upset]

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…Not that I'm complaining about that one.

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Like most dads I have rules.

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Curfew is sundown, and no dating outside her species. [Miranda at a picnic with a gorilla]

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Standard stuff.

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One day, Miranda spotted a ship.

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I thought it was a rescue operation, but alas…

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It was a boatload of my enemies, bringing with them a boatload of trouble.

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My brother Antonio, aka the cheat, Alonso, the King of Naples, aka the Jerk, Sebastian,

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his slimy brother, my good friend, Gonzalo, and… some other guys.

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It looked like they had recently attended a wedding, but…they were still quite a motley [All of the guys stood on a ship]

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crew.

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Just…with less makeup and more boring hairstyles…

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I told Ariel to hurry and find a spell for a tempest – you know, like hurricanes? [Prospero with his hands in the air]

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But hey, I'm not a bad guy!

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Y'know what I always say…don’t drown ‘em – just shipwreck ‘em!

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…Okay, maybe I've never said that before, but that was my goal.

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Because it was finally payback time. [Ship at sea in the rain]

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And this time, I had some magical aide on my side.

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Ariel showed me where they all washed up. [Bodies on the beach]

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So the bad boys - Antonio, Alonso, Sebastian, Alonso’s brother, and the good guy, Gonzalo,

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all washed up here…

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Prince Ferdinand, Alonso’s handsome son swam ashore here…and a couple of drunks,

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Trinculo and Stephano are drying out here. [Guy with his arms crossed]

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The bad boys searched for Ferdinand and Ferdinand searched for them – but then he met Miranda.

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And whaddya know….it was love at first sight.

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I think I handled it all very well. [Miranda walking off with Ferdinand]

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Ariel had an update from the front: The bad guys thought Prince Ferdinand was dead.

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So Antonio and Sebastian did what they do best; they started conniving: if they murdered [Antonio and Sebastian sneak away]

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the King of Naples here, and with no Prince alive, Sebastian, the king’s sleazeball [The disappears and the crown moves to Sebastian]

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brother, could grab the throne.

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Sound like real winners, don't they?

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But I know what you've all been wondering…

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What's up with those drunks? …or was that just me?

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News was always slow 'round these parts.

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According to my tricksy spirit, Ariel, they encountered Caliban and freaked out. [Guys holding wine, see Caliban and run away]

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That’s understandable.

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Seriously, have you seen this guy's face?

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He couldn't go to the zoo as a kid…. they kept trying to put him in a cage. [A cage falls on top of Caliban]

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Anyway.

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Caliban sees the two drunks and thinks they’re Gods.

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…He was never the sharpest knife in the drawer. [Shining light coming from the drunks]

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But dull knife though he was, he did want me dead, so he talked the drunks into murdering

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me.

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After all, with me out of the picture, they could drink all day and rule the island.

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Not a bad life….if you're Captain Jack Sparrow, that is. [The drunks sat drinking at Caliban's cave]

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Sounds kinda monotonous, to me.

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Oh, and if you were wondering about the bad boys…

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It was time for them to meet their worst nightmare – Harpy.

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Think Freddy Krueger but with wings.

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And because I was always looking for ways to practice magic––seriously, the Milan [Harpy flies off]

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magic scene is wicked tough.

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Can't have The Spectacular Sal beating me, now can I? [Girls hands fall off]

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…I decided to make my harpy friend a little more…intimidating.

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Don't worry.

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He'll be back.

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But magic isn't the only thing I was a pro at, back in Milan. [Harpy changing behind a curtain]

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I used to cater parties, too.

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And that's just what I decided to do for these stinkers… [Prospero holding a menu]

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But this time, it was a trap - and the only thing on the menu was fresh misinformation:

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“Ferdinand Drowns, with a side of Payback for Prospero in a beurre blanc [Picture of Ferdinand in the sea in the menu]

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sauce” Bon appetite.

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Oh…and it's not a meal without dessert…for my piece de resistance, I presented: the murder

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plot against the King.

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Looks like the rats got ratted out. [The king looks shocked]

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And then Harpy did his Teddy Krueger act, because what's dinner without a show? [A flying teddy appears and they all run off]

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And…

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Well, let’s hope they all brought a change of underwear.

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Ariel lead them all back to me for a face-to-face.

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Oh.

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What of the drunks, you ask?

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Well…

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I must admit, I pulled a dirty trick on the Caliban and our loveable drunkards. [The three walking together following a sign for free rum]

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Ariel lured them into a cesspool for a little sobering up before my next surprise. [They all look scared]

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While they were distracted by changing their clothes and not murdering me, I pulled a slightly [The three go into the changing booth]

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dirtier trick.

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Oh my.

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Who let the demon dogs out…

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So, the stage was set for the big showdown. [Dogs run towards the booth]

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The bad boys were trapped and zapped frozen in my magic circle.

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I confronted each one of them – up close and personal.

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Alonso was really sorry and returned my dukedom…

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…I told Antonio and Sebastian that I was wise to their murder plot… [Antonio and Sebastian looking shocked]

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And Gonzalo?

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Well, we’re best buds forever.

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And as for Caliban and the drunkards?

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They got some good exercise out of their folly, and I eventually forgave them for trying to [The three wearing torn up clothes]

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kill me.

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Even Caliban promised to be less of a monster and obey me more readily. [Prospero giving them a box of rum]

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Good boy.

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And for my last trick, I announced the tragic loss of my daughter in the tempest.

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O woe is me!

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….Did you buy it?

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A great magician always commits to his act. [Gravestone for Miranda]

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Miranda and Ferdinand were both alive and well, playing a game of chess. [Playing a game of chess in the woods]

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Y'know….like all young lovers do when left completely unsupervised…

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And with that, we all boarded the ship to return home.

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But first, I freed Ariel from his spirit gig…

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And burned the magic books.

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Magic has no place in my life, anymore… [Magic books being burned on a fire]

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Well…almost.

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….What?

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The birthday business is booming, this time of year. [Prospero makes himself disappear]

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