Thank You, Simone
- We cut to footage of MTV on the television in Ferris's room, followed by Ferris in his bathrobe. The soundtrack kicks in—"Love Missile F1-11" by Sigue Sigue Sputnik—as Ferris continues breaking the fourth wall to address the audience and tell us what's up. It's a big change in tone from the first scene when that faker Ferris was "sick."
- Ferris says he's amazed that his parents believed he was sick since it was one of the worst performances of his career—a career we can only assume is long and illustrious. He tears open the drapes and asks how he's expected to handle school on such a gorgeous day.
- Ferris has a dope bedroom, by the way. It's huge, and he has some super-sophisticated stereo equipment for a high school student.
- Ferris divulges that this is his ninth sick day this semester, so making it count is imperative. He also goes over his tips for faking out the parents; in fact, they're bullet-pointed on screen next to him. How useful.
- We follow Ferris down the hallway as he continues pontificating: "Life moves pretty fast," he says. "If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Solid advice, Ferris.
- Then we follow Ferris into the shower, and we're inclined not to look around, thank you very much. While scrub-a-dub-dubbing, he explains that he does really have a test today. It's on European socialism, but since he's neither European nor a socialist, he's not really interested—plus, it still won't change the fact that he doesn't have a car.
- We cut to a high school classroom where the teacher is taking attendance. His voice is really monotonous, and the students are wicked bored.
- If he looks familiar, that's because it's Ben Stein, of the game show Win Ben Stein's Money, and several other television and film roles, most of which capitalize on that memorably monotone voice. Before his Hollywood career, Stein was a speechwriter for President Nixon.
- The teacher calls out "Bueller?" four times before a helpful blonde student named Simone says Ferris is sick, and that her best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with this girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night.
- If Simone looks familiar, that's because it's Kristy Swanson—a.k.a. the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer—in one of her first film roles. She was also in Pretty in Pink.
- Mr. Monotone thanks Simone for the intel and resumes roll call. The next name on the roll call is Frye. Frye's AWOL, too.