How we cite our quotes: (Page)
Quote #4
Who would have thought, though, that a man who would one day send his daughters to college in England and who throughout his life would give his wholehearted support to women's rights would think a woman improper for wanting to sneak a glimpse of her future husband—so improper that he would withdraw an offer of marriage? (95)
We all have those moments in life when we reflect on our parents' actions and find odd little contradictions. Ahmed's discovery of her father's first failed marriage proposal makes her pause, for a couple of reasons. For one, she identifies very strongly with her father (and rejects her mother's example) and admires him. Her own experiences with him also seem to tell a different story: he clearly doesn't behave in sexist ways toward his children.
So, what's a kid to think? Ahmed understands, as she continues her narrative, that it's important to view her parents in context and over time so that she doesn't judge them in unfair ways. She also seems to be saying that views on gender-related issues are complex and not fully explicable.
Quote #5
It is quite possible that, while the women of Zatoun did not think of themselves and of us as inferior, the men did, although—given how powerful the cultural imperative of respect for parents, particularly the mother, was among those people—even for men such a view could not have been altogether uncomplicated. (100)
Ahmed's reflections on her past and the life of her family are extraordinary because of her ability to scratch at external appearances and get complicated about the big issues. She really isn't afraid to question the assumptions and perceptions of her experiences.
While Ahmed felt loved and valued within the family, she knows that there were misogynistic currents in her society that could not have been ignored by her family. She understands somehow that her family had to engage in some pretty serious mental gymnastics to reconcile what they knew to be true about women with what they were taught/told to believe by external forces.
Quote #6
It is entirely likely that women and men had completely different views of their society and of the system in which they lived, and of themselves and of the natures of men and women. Living differently and separately and coming together only momentarily, the two sexes inhabited different if sometimes overlapping cultures, a men's and a women's culture, each sex seeing and understanding and representing the world to itself quite differently. (100-101)
Ahmed continuously reflects on the effects of living in a gender-segregated society. In some cases, as in the companionship of the women in her family at Zatoun, such separation gives a sense of comfort and support. But it also allows for a great distance to spring up between the sexes in their experiences of the world—and of each other. Ahmed describes the men in their lives as "meteors, cutting a trail across our sky, causing havoc possibly..." (101). It's a situation that causes separate versions of reality to develop.