- Anna writes back to Mrs. Norton to let her know that Clarissa is most def still a virgin. But Anna also has some words for Clarissa. We've heard it before, but it's getting more urgent: she tells Clarissa to marry that dude, like, yesterday.
- It's the return of Jekyll and Hyde Lovelace. At first, he seems 100% on board with marriage.
- The dude even draws up a marriage settlement.
- But back away from Pinterest, Clarissa: he doesn't actually ever name a wedding day. Foiled again!
- Lord M., Lovelace's uncle, writes to Belford to ask him to get his nephew in check. Seriously, he says, Lovelace needs your help. Or Jiminy Cricket. Does Lovelace even have a conscience?
- Lovelace catches word of his uncle's warning, and has a fairly predictable response: LOL.
- Since Clarissa has pretty much been the sole topic of conversation for the entire book, Belford decides to switch it up. He writes to Lovelace about their good pal Belton, who is something of a cautionary tale.
- Apparently, the dude is deathly ill. Also, his evil mistress has been stealing money from him.
- Belford tells Lovelace that this guy really got what was coming to him. Hint. Hint.
- Anna's got lots of plans up her sleeve, as we've already figured out. She tells Clarissa about her girl Mrs. Townsend, a seller of silk and lace.
- Mrs. Townsend has the perfect spot for Clarissa to crash, if she can get away from Lovelace.
- Anna plans to get her lovah-lovah, Mr. Hickman, to help Clarissa escape to Mrs. Townsend's.
- And now for a random event that has little to do with the plot: Uncle Antony proposes marriage via letter to Anna's mom. Huzzah!
- Mrs. Howe refuses him. Guess that didn't go so well.
- Remember our pal Dorcas? Well, she's been busy spying for the enemy, a.k.a. Lovelace.
- Girl took the time to copy a bunch of Anna's letters to Clarissa for Lovelace to read.
- Lovelace is pretty mad, especially when he finds out about the Mrs. Townsend thing. He plans to make Clarissa pay.
- Bad timing, as usual, Lovelace. Clarissa had been all set to accept Lovelace's marriage settlements, but she dramatically rips them up after Lovelace acts like a jerk.
- Dorcas to the rescue! There should really be more superheroes named Dorcas. She figures out a way to copy the ripped-up letter and get it to Lovelace.
- Aw, Lovelace is touched.
- And then Lovelace does a not-so-cute thing. He pulls a Carrie with pig's blood and ipecacucanha and pretends to be violently ill.
- Yes, you read that correctly. He fake-vomits pig blood to make Clarissa love him.
- But it kind of works. Clarissa gets all lovey-dovey and tries to make him better.