- Next thing you know, there's a wedding going on. Maud uses the opportunity to talk to Edward about how beautiful Betty's wedding was. Whatever, grandma.
- Meanwhile, Betty is talking to Ellen about what to do now that Ellen is married to Harry. Ellen asks about what she's supposed to do when they have sex as a couple, and Betty just tells her to lie still. Ellen wants to know if it's enjoyable, and Betty says that she's not getting married to enjoy herself. Really romantic, right?
- Once Ellen moves off, Betty starts complaining about how her necklace has been stolen. Edward accuses Joshua, but Harry says that he saw Edward take the necklace. Remember, after all, that this is the same necklace Edward tried to give Harry as a present.
- Edward runs off, and Betty compliments Harry on how handsome he looks for his wedding. He tells her that she always looks good to him, and Betty decides that she won't make it through the wedding without getting drunk.
- Now Mrs. Saunders and Clive walk in, and Clive kisses Mrs. Saunders. Betty sees it and jumps on Mrs. Saunders. The two have a good tussle before they're separated by the menfolk. Betty and Maud kick Mrs. Saunders out of the house and tell her never to come back.
- Edward comes back with his mother's necklace, saying he was protecting it because of the trouble in the village. Clive compliments him for being so manly, although it's pretty clear that this is all wishful thinking by this point.
- Once the commotion has died down, Harry makes a nice speech about how his wedding is the happiest day of his life (a lie) and the happiest day of Ellen's (even bigger lie).
- Act 1 closes with Clive getting up and making a speech about killing the African enemies and men being manly and so forth. While he's talking, Joshua raises his gun and aims it at Clive. Only Edward seems to notice, and he plugs his ears waiting for the sound of the gunshot.
- Then everything just goes black.