- A bunch of neighborhood men are standing in front of the United Cigar Store talking about blowing things up. They're talking about the battleships and submarines of war, and "savor[ing] the very bacteria in their porcelain mouths that would one day stop them cold."
- Leo Auffmann, the town jeweler, is chilling with these doomsday dudes, and he yells at them to stop talking about destruction.
- Grandfather Spaulding walks by with Doug and Tom just as Auffmann yells, and he agrees with the sentiment; he suggests that Leo, with his mad inventing- and fixing-stuff skillz, should invent a Happiness Machine.Doug, of course, is all over that idea.
- Auffmann scoffs at them, saying that all machines are good for is destruction, and that every time man thinks he's inventing a machine for the good of humanity, it just ends up being used to wreck stuff.
- Then, all of a sudden, he totally changes his mind and decides a Happiness Machine isn't such a bad idea. He pedals off on his bike to start building one.
- Hey: no ellipses. The chapter ends with Tom saying he bets Mr. Auffmann can do it.