How It All Goes Down
An Overture to the Commencement of a Very Rigid Journey
- This chapter is told by someone named Alexander Perchov, or Alex, and, well, his English is not very premium. Er, good.
- Alex lives with his Mother, his Father (who is kind of a jerk), his younger brother Little Igor, his Grandfather (also named Alex), and his dog Sammy Davis, Junior, Junior.
- Things Alex enjoys: going out to nightclubs, dancing to Michael Jackson, macking on the ladies.
- His father works for Heritage Touring, and one day they get a call for a driver, guide, and translator for a young man who will be arriving in July.
- This man is looking for the town his grandfather came from (a town called Trachimbrod), and for a woman named Augustine, who saved said grandfather during the war.
- Even though Grandfather is "retarded" (1.13), (Alex means "retired" here… we think…) he decides to come out of retirement for one last trip, like Morgan Freeman in any given cop drama.
- During an ad for "McDonald's McPorkburgers" (1.15) (not something on our value meal…) Grandfather says that he does "not want to drive ten hours to an ugly city to attend a very spoiled Jew" (1.15).
- What if it were a pretty city?