Hail to the King—The Sausage King, That Is
- Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane are at the observation deck at Sears Tower, the world's tallest building (in 1986, at least), gazing at Chicago. Cameron says he doesn't feel good and wants to leave soon. Ferris instructs everybody to stand on the bottom rung of the railing, touch their foreheads to the glass, and scope out the Second City that way. (Looks fun, albeit significantly less so if you're afraid of heights.) Cameron says he thinks he see his dad.
- Next, they hit the Chicago Board of Trade and watch the trading floor from the lounge above. Cameron mocks the traders' hand motions; his impression has a bit of a Three Stooges vibe. Ferris asks Sloane if she wants to get married and says they have no good reason not to. Cameron says his parents are two good reasons: His dad loves the Ferrari, but hates his wife. Way to bring a room down, Cam.
- Lunchtime. Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane stroll into a fancy restaurant called Chez Quis. As they wait to be seated, a waiter passes by and looks them up and down dismissively. Ferris scans the reservation book for a party of three and finds one belonging to Abe Froman.
- When the maître d' returns, he, too, gives the trio the stink eye. Cameron says he wants to leave (shocker); the place gives him the creeps. Ferris confidently introduces himself as Abe Froman and slips the maître d' some money. The maître d' is not impressed and expresses his disbelief that our boy Ferris is Abe Froman, "the Sausage King of Chicago." Oops.
- Ferris doesn't give in, insisting that's him, and the maître d' tells them to leave. Ferris feigns outrage. The maître d' threatens to call the police, and Ferris says, no, he'll call the police and picks up the maître d's phone. As he dials, Cameron and Sloane look mega-nervous.
- Just then, another call comes in, but Ferris refuses to relinquish the receiver to the snooty maître d', so he goes to find another one. Once he's gone, Cameron and Sloane implore Ferris to leave. He refuses, hands the phone to Sloan, and tells her to ask for Abe Froman.
- Cut to the maître d' on the phone at the bar, we hear Sloane asking for Froman. They're playing a variation of the trick they played on Rooney earlier. Those wacky kids.
- The maître d' asks Sloane to describe Froman, and, duh, she describes what Ferris is wearing. Before the maître d' returns to the front of the restaurant, he clicks over to the other line—the one Ferris is on, supposedly with the police—and we hear "Sergeant Peterson, Chicago Police" speaking. He sure sounds an awful lot like Cameron's "Mr. Peterson."
- Cut to Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane seated at a table smack dab in the middle of the swishy restaurant. The maître d' is there, too, apologizing.
- Ferris chides Cameron for thinking that they wouldn't have any fun today. Cameron does not look pleased.
- Back at school, Jeanie's leaning on the wall at the end of long, empty hallway. Seriously, does Jeanie even go to this school? We hear her inner monologue. At first she thinks maybe Ferris isn't such a bad guy after all. Heck, when she got a car, he got a computer. Ultimately, she returns to the whole "life is unfair because Ferris gets away with everything" idea.
- Cut back to Chez Quis. It's time for another fourth-wall-busting Bueller soliloquy, and while he washes his hands in the men's room, Ferris addresses the audience in the mirror.
- He speculates that Cameron's sick all of the time because of his weirdo family, and that he actually feels better when he's sick. He goes on to say that Cameron's house is like a museum, cold and detached, and if Ferris lived there, he'd want to be sick, too.
- Then he confesses that he's amazed that he got the Ferrari out of the garage, although he's caught Cameron checking it out a few times. He thinks this is good for Cameron; it helps him deal with his fear.
- Ferris Bueller, amateur psychologist, tips the men's room attendant and leaves just as his dad emerges from one of the stalls.
- Back at school, Jeanie's fired up and wants to see Rooney. Grace informs her that he's off campus on personal business—as in it's personal, and it's none of Jeanie's business.
- Out in front of Chez Quis, Ferris's dad talks with two businessmen by the curb. Apparently, Dave really needs to increase his advertising budget. We pan up to Ferris, Cameron, and Sloane, surveying the scene from the restaurant's entrance. Well, Ferris and Sloane are; they look worried. Cameron intentionally has his back to the action. Taking a cue from history's preeminent spies, the Muppets, they each put on hats and sunglasses.
- A taxi pulls up. Ferris's dad goes to open the door, but stops because he's all caught up in business talk with that bonehead Dave. The kids sneak in behind him, and it's a super-close call. The cab speeds off.
- Another taxi pulls up. Ferris's dad reaches back and opens that cab's door without realizing it's a different vehicle, and his two associates pile in.