Glad you're enjoying retirement, Dad.

Yeah, thanks, son. Tartarus was awful.

You did try to eat me…

I gave you life, boy!

Yeah, but then you tried to eat me.

Fair enough.

You ate my babies, you weirdo.

Nobody's perfect.

Don't you "Happy Mother's Day" me.

Are you still mad at me?

How could you lock the Cyclopes and the Hekatonkheires down into Tartarus? They're your brothers. And you'd just castrated your father for the same thing…

Amen.

Mom, Dad was right. Those guys are scary.

RAH!

See?

Well, I hope you had a good time in Tartarus yourself. Zeus never
should've let you out.

Forgiveness is divine, Grandma.

Well, so is revenge!

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Don't push your luck, Dad.

I know you were at Theseus's beach party yesterday. I know it! And you didn't come by to see me.

You swallowed me whole when I was a baby…

Why does everybody always bring that up?

Um, it was pretty damaging, Dad. I think it's the root of my depression.

You Olympians are the whiniest gods I've ever seen. In my day, we didn't have time to be depressed.

Please, Zeus... please can we throw him back into Tartarus?

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I hate all of you! You are the worst children ever. How could you rebel against your own father? How could you steal my throne? I want to… eat you. Eat you! Again. If only I'd won the War of the Titans, you'd still be in my belly where you belong!

Dad, what have we said about this kind of talk? We wouldn't want to go back to that bottomless black pit, now would we?

What? I was just joking. Love you guys! Come by my beach house whenever you want. Bring the kids. ☺