King Arthur (Graham Chapman)’s Timeline and Summary
- Arthur is traveling with Patsy, searching for knights to join him at Camelot.
- He meets a skeptical guard with an abundant knowledge of swallows.
- He meets a mud-digging peasant with an abundant knowledge of systems of government and philosophy of government.
- He meets the wise Sir Bedevere and watches as he uses his wisdom to determine whether a woman is a witch.
- Fast-forward and he's assembled his team of knights, including Bedevere, Lancelot, Galahad, and Robin. He is about to take them to Camelot but decides it's just too silly.
- Then Arthur gets a message from God: he must seek the Holy Grail.
- The knights attempt to recruit a French lord but are repulsed by rude guards.
- So the knights split up. Arthur and Bedevere visit an old hermit who tells them about a cave and a bridge that may or may not have something to do with the Grail.
- They are stopped by the Knights Who Say Ni who demand a shrubbery for the right to pass through.
- Arthur obtains the shrubbery from Roger the Shrubber and then defeats the Knights Who No Longer Say Ni by accidentally saying "it".
- The group gets back together and meets Tim the Enchanter who leads them to the cave guarded by the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog.
- They defeat this fluffy but mighty foe with the Holy Hand Grenade, but when they enter the cave they're almost killed by the Legendary Black Beast of Aaarrggghhh.
- When they escape, they come to the Bridge of Death, which spans the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
- Arthur makes it across by answering a question with a question, forcing the Bridgekeeper into the gorge.
- He gets on a random dragon boat and sails the short distance to Castle Arrrggghhh. Unfortunately, the French have beat them to it.
- Arthur summons his troops and begins to charge the castle when he's suddenly apprehended by policemen investigating the murder of a historian.