How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
People used to think that being gay was a mental illness, but doctors (especially psychiatrists) no longer believe that. Even if Mr. and Mrs. Wentworth aren't fit to be parents, I've never heard Mom call them stupid. I ask James if his parents know that reasonable people don't think being gay is a mental illness.
"They do know," he says. "They send me so I can make my own choices without being influenced by their deep desire that I be straight."
"Why is that their desire?"
"Because no one wants their kid to be gay."
"Mom doesn't care," I say.
"Your mother may not, but check with your father," James says.
(7.47-52)
It's interesting that James knows more about how Ellen's parents will react than she does. Is it because he's more mature? Because he's had more time to think about it? And why do you think he says that no parent would want their kid to be gay?
Quote #5
"Why would Dad care?" I ask, reluctant to reveal that he does. "It's not against the law anymore."
"No one gets arrested anymore," he says. "But it's not exactly legal."
"All those laws were overturned," I say. "So it is legal."
"Ellen, there are a ton of laws that no one wants to admit exist," James says. "Laws that monitor behavior."
I think of Newland in The Age of Innocence and how he was kept from his every desire by what society expected. How it was all unspoken but clear.
"You mean social laws?" I ask.
"Yes," James says. "They're unwritten laws, so they never get overturned, but everyone is expected to obey them."
"What happens if you refuse to?" I ask, wondering if that's why my old school used to send notes home. Perhaps my "failure to connect" disobeyed an unwritten social law.
(7.54-61)
It's interesting that all of this needs to be spelled out so explicitly for Ellen. She has a particularly hard time picking up on social cues, at least compared to normal teens, so James has to explain why being gay is so taboo.
Quote #6
I have, of course, missed learning about these particular laws in my reading. No one writes them down because that would involve admitting they exist. Everyone has to learn what they are and how to cope with them in their own way. The unwritten social laws about gay people might be ones that Dad, despite being smart and someone I know, obeys. And he probably wants us to obey them as well. The way he wants us to obey his laws about our minds and their heartbeats. (7.63)
All of these revelations seem a bit obvious, don't they? Many of these social cues are something that people naturally pick up on—hence the largely inherited nature of bigotry and prejudice—so the fact that Ellen has to really puzzle over all of this makes her seem a bit innocent about the ways of the world.