How It All Goes Down
- Elizabeth spends some time thinking about Mr. Darcy's letter. He actually makes a lot of good points.
- What did she really know about Mr. Wickham, anyway, except what he'd told everybody in town? And she didn't recall him doing anything nice for anyone or actually killing a zombie. He just bragged about having done it.
- And Mr. Darcy did have a point about Jane's illness. Even Elizabeth thought she might have been bitten by a zombie.
- Geez. How could Elizabeth have been so blind? If she was still in training in China, she would have asked to be whipped with wet bamboo to get rid of these feelings of shame.
- By the next morning, Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam are gone. Boo.
- Lady Catherine invites the guests from the parsonage over to visit a couple more times before Elizabeth and Maria are supposed to leave, though.
- Her ladyship insults Chinese zombie-slaying techniques and sticks her nose into everyone's business.
- When Elizabeth has a quiet moment, she reflects on what a bummer it is that her younger sisters are so flighty and won't learn to be as dedicated to killing the undead as she is. It's too bad.
- On Saturday morning, Elizabeth and Maria get in the carriage to head home.
- Elizabeth knows this is the last time she'll see Charlotte, as she's almost totally transformed into a zombie. Good-bye, dear friend.
- On the path to London, the carriage passes by a church: zombies have killed everyone inside. The unmentionables have no mercy.
- In London, Elizabeth and Maria stay for a few days at the Gardiners'. From there, Jane will head home with them.
- Elizabeth is looking forward to telling her about Mr. Darcy…not so much the Mr. Bingley part, though.
- When Elizabeth, Jane, and Maria arrive back home, they're greeted by Kitty and Lydia, who give them the rundown of all the gossip they've missed.
- Lydia wants to go on a trip to Brighton, and the militia is leaving in two weeks, but—good news—Mr. Wickham isn't going to marry that rich girl, after all.
- Lydia talks so much that Elizabeth imagines chopping her head off to get her to shut up.
- Back at home, Mr. Bennet is happy to see Elizabeth again.
- And Elizabeth is secretly happy that the militia is on its way out of Meryton. She can't guarantee that she won't try to kill Mr. Wickham if she runs into him in town.
- Finally, Elizabeth tells Jane that Mr. Darcy proposed to her and that Mr. Wickham is the bad guy, after all. She leaves out the part about Mr. Bingley, though.
- Elizabeth asks Jane if she should tell everyone that Mr. Wickham is a big, fat liar. Jane doesn't think it's a good idea. Plus, he'll be gone soon. Problem solved, right?
- Besides, it would be terrible if Mr. Darcy and Mr. Wickham had to fight to death over all this. Better leave it alone.