How It All Goes Down
- About a week after Jane and Mr. Bingley get engaged, Lady Catherine suddenly shows up one morning at Longbourn.
- Yeah, it's weird, but Lady Catherine wants to talk to Elizabeth, and she's pretty ticked off. She demands to know if Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are engaged. Elizabeth tells her the sad truth—they're not.
- The two women exchange some words and then—obviously—engage in a fight to the death.
- Lady Catherine and her ninjas injure Elizabeth pretty badly, but Elizabeth gets the better of the old lady in the end. She has the chance to cut off Lady Catherine's head, but she lets her live. She suspects Mr. Darcy wouldn't be so thrilled if she killed his aunt. Mercy is a virtue, isn't it?
- Lady Catherine leaves Longbourn in a huff, knowing she's been beaten by a girl of low birth who trained in China. Gross.
- The next morning, Mr. Bennet mentions to Elizabeth that he's received a letter. It's from Colonel Fitzwilliam, and it's about her. That's weird.
- In it, Colonel Fitzwilliam says that he's heard that Elizabeth might be marrying Mr. Darcy—and that it's probably not a good idea if Lady Catherine doesn't approve.
- Mr. Bennet thinks the whole thing is a joke. The whole family knows how much Elizabeth hates Mr. Darcy, right?
- Oh, if they only knew the truth…
- A few days after Lady Catherine's visit, Mr. Bingley brings Mr. Darcy back to Longbourn with him.
- Jane and Mr. Bingley decide to take a walk, and Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy go with them. When they're finally alone, Elizabeth tells Mr. Darcy that she knows all about what he did for Lydia. He really deserves the thanks of her entire family.
- Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth it's cool and then confesses that he still loves her. Elizabeth tells him she loves him right back. Awwww.
- Mr. Darcy explains that he came back to Hertfordshire because Lady Catherine stopped in London to tell him she and Elizabeth had fought but that Elizabeth decided not to behead her. Mr. Darcy knew he must have a chance with Elizabeth if she wasn't out for Lady Catherine's blood.
- Mr. Darcy also mentions that he told Mr. Bingley that Jane actually did love him, and that she was in London last spring, but that he kept that little tidbit a secret. That's the reason why Jane is engaged right now.
- Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy walk on for a while and then they see a bunch of zombies in a field. This is their first chance to slay some zombies together. Oh, doing couple things is so fun.
- That night, Elizabeth tells Jane that she's gonna marry Mr. Darcy, and Jane almost doesn't believe her. This isn't gonna go smoothly.
- The next night, Mr. Darcy asks Mr. Bennet if he can marry Elizabeth. Of course, Mr. Bennet says it's fine, but he wants to talk to Elizabeth.
- Mr. Bennet asks his daughter if she's really ready to put aside her zombie-slaying duties for a man like this: a proud, arrogant jerk everyone knows she hates.
- Elizabeth explains that she actually likes Mr. Darcy. Loves him, in fact. Plus, he helped Lydia out of that tight spot recently.
- Mrs. Bennet is over the moon when she finds out about the engagement. Elizabeth is gonna be rich beyond her wildest dreams, and that's all that really matters, right?
- Now that Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy have everything figured out, Elizabeth wants to know why exactly he fell in love with her.
- Maybe it's because Elizabeth was a fierce warrior who was used to smiting her enemies and bathing in their blood? Not a lot of women out there like that.
- Mr. Darcy writes to Lady Catherine to tell her the good news, and Elizabeth writes to Mrs. Gardiner to let her know that she might want to save the date.
- Georgiana Darcy is also way thrilled. Maybe she and Elizabeth can practice zombie-slaying techniques together? Sisterly love is awesome.
- Elizabeth and Jane are both married. Yay.
- With the two oldest Bennet girls gone from Hertfordshire, zombie attacks start happening a lot more often. Luckily, Kitty decides to head back to China to train more fully, and Mary devotes herself to defending their home.
- Lydia visits Pemberley sometimes, but never with Mr. Wickham. He's too busy soiling himself and ministering to the lame.
- Elizabeth and Georgiana become the best of friends once they're both living at Pemberley. They spend many happy hours training in the deadly arts.
- Eventually, Jane and Mr. Bingley buy a house near Pemberley, and their husbands put a training cottage between the two homes so that the sisters can meet to sharpen their zombie-slaying skills.
- Lady Catherine is so enraged by Mr. Darcy's marriage that she sends her ninjas to attack Pemberley, but no one in the family is injured. The ninjas don't fare so well.
- Zombies keep plaguing England, but the Bennet sisters still live to protect it.