Nao Kao and Foua

Character Analysis

Nao Kao and Foua Lee are good people stuck in a bad situation.

They live in the United States but can't speak English. Their daughter Lia is suffering from epilepsy. Their doctors treat them like Martians. Enough drama for you?

Anyway, although they make their fair share of mistakes along the way, Nao Kao and Foua earn a place in our hearts simply by being so dedicated to their family. No matter what comes their way, they never falter in their love for their children.

The Apple of Their Eye

At first, Nao Kao and Foua are able to keep their spirits up despite Lia's health. They consider her their "anointed one" despite her illness—or better yet, because of her illness: epilepsy was seen as a mystical gift in their culture. So they went on pampering her and treating her like a princess (15.20).

This is evidence of their good nature, but it's also just part of Hmong culture: the Hmong believe that children are "the most treasured possession a person can have" (3.4). Especially with the occasional seizure. And although they get into conflicts with Lia's doctors from day one, they're still optimistic that Lia will recover.

Unfortunately, things aren't that easy. Neil's decision to send Lia into foster care throws a wrench into things, devastating Nao Kao and Foua and nearly breaking their family apart. Although Dee Korda turns out to be an amazing foster mother (and friend to the family), Lia's condition only worsens after being placed into foster care.

For her part, Foua believes that Lia "missed [the family] too much and that is why she got sicker" (7.34). Hard to totally disagree based on the evidence, we've got to say.

Coping (or Not)

Things are never the same again, even after Lia returns home. After so many seizures, Lia's brain is finally showing signs of damage, and the process culminates in a major episode that leaves her brain-dead. Nao Kao takes this particularly hard, even trying to kidnap Lia from the hospital and almost assaulting a nurse in the process. Whoa.

This anger remains for years and years: the domestic quiet of the Lee household is often interrupted by "an explosion of rage from Nao Kao" (15.25). We know, not an easy situation, but calm down, dude.

Foua is equally devastated, but she has a more sympathetic view of the situation. Maybe it's because Neil told her how sorry he was about what happened. Maybe it's because comforting Peggy about her son's leukemia showed her that the "sorrows of motherhood cut through all cultural barriers" (17.6). Maybe it's just her nature.

Regardless, Foua manages to forgive Neil and Peggy for their part in Lia's ordeal—though, like Nao Kao, she still blames Western medicine for its disastrous outcome. Hey, you've got to blame someone.

A Silver (or Something) Lining

Still, Nao Kao and Foua's lives would have been drastically different if Lia had never gotten sick. They'd never have met Dee Korda, foster mom extraordinaire. They'd never have gotten to know Jeanine Hilt, whom Foua refers to as her "American daughter" (17.4). Heck, they'd never even have met the lovely Anne Fadiman (who, of course, never would have written a bestselling book. At least not this one).

So, although they'd give anything to have Lia healthy and happy once again, Nao Kao and Foua would have never realized that there are at least some Americans who have sympathy for their plight if not for this tragedy. It's a tough one as far as silver lining goes, but hey, that's why it's not gold.

At times like this, we can't help but think of the Hmong idea that "no event occurs in isolation" (2.2). What happens when we apply that principle here? Lia's sickness—though devastating for herself and her parents—ultimately has a huge impact not just on the people directly involved, but on the world.

How, you ask? The spread of her story influenced Hmong-American relations and changed the way hospitals deal with non-English-speaking patients. So if Nao Kao and Foua can take comfort in anything, it's that Lia's suffering ultimately made life better for countless little girls just like her. That's not going to bring their daughter back, but it just might help another couple hold onto theirs.