Developing Relationships

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Working with Your School Counselors

Were you A-K or L-Z?

If you attended middle or high school prior to the 21st century (or during it, in some spots of the U.S. of A.), you probably know what we're talking about.

Not sure? Here goes.

It used to be the norm for schools to divide guidance counselors' workload by assigning one of 'em to students with last names in the A-K range, and another for the L-Z's. Those guidance counselors typically met with students in their alphabetical zones once or twice a year, tops, to help them determine a career or college path. And that, as they say, was pretty much that.

Of course, some schools shook things up, and there were some guidance counselors did a lot more (planning workshops, leading staff development opportunities, founding peer helper groups, and initiating all sorts of outreach to meet student and staff needs) but back in the day, those counselors were the exceptions, not the rule.

Today, that just sounds like a total blast from the past. For one thing, the term "guidance counselor" is like, sooo passé. "School counselor" is now the preferred nomenclature for these professionals-and it's a much more apt title since they do serve as full-fledged counselors (not just vocational pros) in a school setting.

Bottom line: your school counselors can be a tremendous resource for you.

1. Be quick to refer students in need.

When you notice that a student is having difficulty, whether due to a change in his behavior, his academic performance, his peer group, or any number of other things, you may consider referring that student to the school counselor. As a classroom teacher, it can be hard for you to dedicate ample time to an individual student dealing with a sensitive issue. Sure, you want to be available to students in need, but you also have to teach the rest of your class, and maybe you don't want that student to feel singled out, either.

School counselors have the training to help students broach difficult subject matter and deal with complex issues, and their schedules are designed to allow them to carve out the necessary time (you know, more or less) for extended one-on-one meetings, calls to parents, and discussions with other professionals. So sending kids who seem like they need a good chat early, instead of waiting to see if this too, shall pass-pretty much always a good idea.

2. Share your school-related concerns.

Your school counselor is a trained counselor, which means that he can provide an empathetic ear to you, too. If you're having difficulty at school-with students, with other faculty members, with bureaucracy stuff-why not go ahead and make your school counselor your first stop.

What if your issues involve another staff member or an administrator? That's why school counselors are trained in confidentiality. Plus, she may be able to act as a mediator and help you resolve those issues. And if you have issues that require more in-depth counseling, your school counselor will likely be able to recommend another professional for you to see outside of the building. See the benefits piling up already?

3. Invite school counselors to your classroom.

Regardless of your content area, you can find numerous opportunities to invite a counselor into your classroom. And we feel pretty certain that that will be a win-win situation. For the counselors, it will present a chance for them to interact with students they haven't necessarily had an opportunity to meet or get to know well. As for the flip side, it will allow students to view the school counselors as regular members of the staff who they can speak to, even if they don't have a big issue to discuss. If students know the counselors and feel comfortable saying hello to them in the hallway, they are much more likely to seek them out should an issue arise.

For you, the benefit is three-fold.

First, it will help you to establish strong working relationships with your school counselors, which will make it easier for both you and them to approach one another when issues arise with students.

Second, it could give you and your students another perspective on your class content. Who knew the counselor was a mathlete in high school or that she or he would have special insight into the psychology of Wuthering Heights?

And third, your school counselor could offer you insight into your class dynamic. If you're having difficulty with a particular student or strategy, or if you can't quite figure out what's going on with a group of peers who were formally close but now seem at odds, you can always invite a counselor in to observe and offer feedback (yes, even while discussing Wuthering Heights). Another set of eyes, particularly those of a trained counselor, can be very helpful in resolving class problems.

4. Check your ego.

Yikes. That's kind of a controversial thing to say, isn't it? Bear with us. We mean it with respect-Shmoop's honor.

As a classroom teacher, you likely have a passion for your content area. Or, in lieu of a passion for your content area, a strong desire to provide your students with the core information they need to be well-educated, to achieve important benchmarks, to pass your class, and to perform well on various assessment tests that could determine whether or not they get into the college of their choice or whether or not your school continues to receive state and federal funding.

Whew.

These are all very important concerns, and we are not trying to minimize the significance of what you do in your classroom every day or the importance of your content area in any way whatsoever.

But-and this is a big but, the one that involves checking your ego-if a student is dealing with a difficult home situation, if a student is malnourished, if a student has been physically or emotionally abused, if a student is being bullied or harassed-your content becomes secondary to that student's well being.

Yes, it is frustrating to deal with a defiant, disengaged, disinterested, or otherwise difficult student. And yes, it is a hassle to deal with student absences or to have to find ways to provide remediation for students who have missed classes, fallen behind on homework, or failed tests. But sometimes we have to realize of a situation: it is what it is. And no matter how much easier it would be to penalize or fail a student who is underperforming, if there are extenuating circumstances (and there often are), we have to find a way to help that student get what he or she needs.

Of course, your best bet is to review numbers 1-3 above and try to prevent students from getting off track by helping them deal with issues as soon as they arise. But it's neither easy nor possible to catch every issue in advance, and so, at times, you'll find yourself in the frustrating position of having to loosen your attachment to your content and work with your school counselor to find the best way to serve a particular student. In other words, check your pedagogical ego, because in these situations, it really isn't about you or your content.

That wasn't so rude now, was it?

5. Involve your school counselor in discipline strategies.

Before you start handing out detentions or sending students to the principal's office, consider getting your school counselor involved. Sure, sometimes you might need to take quick action in order to nip a situation in the bud, but even after you toss out a rapid-fire detention or send a student into the hallway to cool down, you can still follow up with your school counselor, whether that's to set up an appointment with the student, get feedback, or come up with more effective strategies.

If it's not already a policy in your school to notify counselors when students are referred to the administration, see about getting such a policy instituted. Often counselors can help to shed light on a student's behavior or come up with more effective strategies for dealing with it.

Remember: your school counselors can be an excellent resource for you, but only if you involve them.

Two caveats about counseling

We know, after those stellar tips, you're just raring to go involve your counselor in every which way. But before you do, keep these little issues in mind.

#1: While some teachers may be natural counselors, they are not trained counselors.

Many teachers become teachers because they have an aptitude for working with people in a caring and compassionate way. They enjoy developing relationships and getting to know their students well and are often naturally good listeners and feedback providers. That's why it can be tempting, as a teacher, to take on a little bit of a counseling role with your students.

Enter caveat #1 : having an aptitude for talking to and listening to people isn't the same as being professionally trained to deal with the multitude of issues and circumstances that may present themselves.

If you encounter a student experiencing difficulties at home or in school, by all means, listen, be kind, and be compassionate. But also be ready to encourage that student to speak to a school counselor, or-if the student is unwilling-to speak to the counselor yourself in order to determine the best way to help that student. You'll still be helping the student, and they'll still be happy to receive your guidance. But if there's a big issue going on, leave it to the trained folk.

#2: What happens in the counselor's office stays in the counselor's office.

It's easy to get frustrated when you discover that a student you've been having difficulty with has been on the school counselor's radar for a while and no heads up has come your way. After all, if you'd known what was going on in this student's life, you may have altered your approach-been more understanding about missing homework, unexplained defiance, a lack of focus, and so on.

Here's what you need to remember: in many cases, school counselors are just plain prohibited from sharing information about a student with you because of confidentiality issues. While you might believe it would be helpful for you to know that a student is struggling at home (and yes, of course it would be), counselors aren't always at liberty to tell you such things unless a student or parent specifically gives them permission to do so.

What you can do is try to meet with a counselor to express a concern about a student and get advice. While the counselor may not be able to discuss the specific details of a student's issues with you, or even acknowledge that issues exist, the counselor may be able to provide you with some tips that will help improve the situation in your classroom.

And rest assured that as soon as the counselor is able to involve you in a way that will help the student, she will. After all, we're all in this together, right?