Bell Curve

Bell Curve

1
5%

You got distracted by a cute puppy video your friend emailed you, and forgot to properly check the nuclear weapons system…which just exploded, blasting you and the entire earth to the next world. Consider your puppy days over.

2
25%

Your boat sunk after a leak went undetected. Thankfully, you and your entire crew were rescued. You know what sank along with the boat? Your career.

3
50%

You’ve been a mid-level submarine officer for ten years now, but you’re finally being considered for a command position. So… to whom should you address the bribe?

4
75%

You just commanded your first submarine and…nothing happened. Which, given the alternatives, is a good thing, right?

5
95%

After Another World War broke out, you had the highest strike record of any commander ever: 94 hits out of 100 torpedoes. The nuclear blasts have permanently altered the atmospheric makeup of the planet, but hey, you dun good for your country.