The Bad Beginning Cunning and Cleverness Quotes

"I may be a terrible man," Count Olaf said, "but I have been able to concoct a foolproof way of getting your fortune, which is more than you've been able to do." With that, he began to stride toward the house. "Remember that, orphans," he said. "You may have read more books than I have, but it didn't help you gain the upper hand in this situation. Now, give me that book which gave you such grand ideas, and do the chores assigned to you." (9.22)

Violet stayed still as a statue. She hadn't been listening to that last speech of Count Olaf's, knowing it would be full of the usual self-congratulatory nonsense and despicable insults. She was staring at the tower, not at the top, where her sister was dangling, but the whole length of it. Klaus looked back at her and saw something he hadn't seen in quite some time. To those who hadn't been around Violet long, nothing would have seemed unusual, but those who knew her well knew that when she tied her hair up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes, it meant that the gears and levers of her inventing brain were whirring at top speed. (9.23)

"I'm—I'm afraid Olaf is right," Justice Strauss said, through her tears. "This marriage is legally binding."

"Begging your pardon," Violet said suddenly, "but I think you may be wrong."

Everyone turned to look at the eldest Baudelaire orphan.

"What did you say, Countess?" Olaf said.

"I'm not your countess," Violet said testily, a word which here means "in an extremely annoyed tone." "At least, I don't think I am."

"And why is that?" Count Olaf said.

"I did not sign the document in my own hand, as the law states," Violet said.

"What do you mean? We all saw you!" Count Olaf's eyebrow was beginning to rise in anger.

"I'm afraid your husband is right, dear," Justice Strauss said sadly. "There's no use denying it. There are too many witnesses."

"Like most people," Violet said, "I am right-handed. But I signed the document with my left hand."

"What?" Count Olaf cried. He snatched the paper from Justice Strauss and looked down at it. His eyes were shining very bright. "You are a liar!" he hissed at Violet.

"No she's not," Klaus said excitedly. "I remember, because I watched her left hand trembling as she signed her name."

"It is impossible to prove," Count Olaf said.

"If you like," Violet said, "I shall be happy to sign my name again, on a separate sheet of paper, with my right hand and then with my left. Then we can see which signature the one on the document most resembles."

"A small detail, like which hand you used to sign," Count Olaf said, "doesn't matter in the least."

"If you don't mind, sir," Mr. Poe said, "I'd like Justice Strauss to make that decision." (13.21-36)