How we cite our quotes: All quotations are from Beetlejuice.
Quote #1
ADAM: "Handbook for the Recently Diseased"
BARBARA: "Deceased"
ADAM: "Deceased."
BARBARA: I don't know where it came from. Look at that publisher.
ADAM: "Handbook for the Recently Deceased Press."
BARBARA: You know what? I don't think we survived the crash.
Yeah, when you see The Handbook for the Recently Deceased appear on your nightstand, this is a serious hint. The Maitlands first experience of the afterlife must seem pretty similar to their actual lives until they see the Handbook.
Quote #2
BARBARA: Can you give me the basics?
ADAM: Well, this book isn't arranged that way. What do you wanna know?
BARBARA: Well, why did you disappear when you stepped off the porch? Are we halfway to Heaven? Are we halfway to Hell? And how long is this gonna last?
ADAM: I don't see anything about Heaven or Hell. This book reads like stereo instructions. Listen to this: "Geographical and Temporal Perimeters: Functional perimeters vary from manifestation to manifestation." Oh, this is going to take some time, honey.
What's hilarious about this scene is how unfazed and matter-of-fact the Maitlands seem about their situation. They're just trying to get some guidelines and wish the user manual was written in plain English.
Quote #3
ADAM: I wish I had a better view of the cemetery from here. I can't tell which is the best placement for us. Cabin fever, hon?
BARBARA: Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? Where are the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?
ADAM: Maybe this is Heaven?
BARBARA: In Heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.
Barbara keeps it real. In heaven, you wouldn't have to vacuum.