Enter old Polonius with his man Reynaldo. POLONIUS Give him this money and these notes, Reynaldo. REYNALDO I will, my lord. POLONIUS You shall do marvelous wisely, good Reynaldo, Before you visit him, to make inquire Of his behavior. 5 REYNALDO My lord, I did intend it. POLONIUS Marry, well said, very well said. Look you, sir, Inquire me first what Danskers are in Paris; And how, and who, what means, and where they keep, 10 What company, at what expense; and finding By this encompassment and drift of question That they do know my son, come you more nearer Than your particular demands will touch it. Take you, as ’twere, some distant knowledge of him, 15 As thus: “I know his father and his friends And, in part, him.” Do you mark this, Reynaldo? REYNALDO Ay, very well, my lord. POLONIUS “And, in part, him, but,” you may say, “not well. But if ’t be he I mean, he’s very wild, 20 Addicted so and so.” And there put on him What forgeries you please—marry, none so rank As may dishonor him, take heed of that, But, sir, such wanton, wild, and usual slips As are companions noted and most known 25 To youth and liberty. REYNALDO As gaming, my lord. POLONIUS Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing, Quarreling, drabbing—you may go so far. REYNALDO My lord, that would dishonor him. 30 | It's several weeks later. Shoot! Did we miss all the awesome avenging action? No, we have not missed the avenging action. Literally nothing has happened. Well, nothing vengeful, anyway. Polonius gives a guy named Reynaldo a bunch of money and tells him to take the cash to his son, Laertes, who we all remember is studying in France. But, Polonius says, be sure to spy on Laertes a bunch first. Specifically, he wants Reynaldo to talk to people and imply that Laertes is into gambling and drinking and all sorts of risky behavior. Reynaldo isn't so sure this is a good idea. He doesn't want to damage Laertes's reputation. |
POLONIUS Faith, no, as you may season it in the charge. You must not put another scandal on him That he is open to incontinency; That’s not my meaning. But breathe his faults so quaintly 35 That they may seem the taints of liberty, The flash and outbreak of a fiery mind, A savageness in unreclaimèd blood, Of general assault. REYNALDO But, my good lord— 40 POLONIUS Wherefore should you do this? REYNALDO Ay, my lord, I would know that. POLONIUS Marry, sir, here’s my drift, And I believe it is a fetch of wit. You, laying these slight sullies on my son, 45 As ’twere a thing a little soiled i’ th’ working, Mark you, your party in converse, him you would sound, Having ever seen in the prenominate crimes The youth you breathe of guilty, be assured 50 He closes with you in this consequence: “Good sir,” or so, or “friend,” or “gentleman,” According to the phrase or the addition Of man and country— REYNALDO Very good, my lord. 55 POLONIUS And then, sir, does he this, he does—what was I about to say? By the Mass, I was about to say something. Where did I leave? REYNALDO At “closes in the consequence,” at “friend, or so,” and “gentleman.” 60 POLONIUS At “closes in the consequence”—ay, marry— He closes thus: “I know the gentleman. I saw him yesterday,” or “th’ other day” (Or then, or then, with such or such), “and as you say, 65 There was he gaming, there o’ertook in ’s rouse, There falling out at tennis”; or perchance “I saw him enter such a house of sale”— Videlicet, a brothel—or so forth. See you now Your bait of falsehood take this carp of truth; 70 And thus do we of wisdom and of reach, With windlasses and with assays of bias, By indirections find directions out. So by my former lecture and advice Shall you my son. You have me, have you not? 75 REYNALDO My lord, I have. | Polonius tells Reynaldo he's got it wrong. Polonius doesn't want him to scandalize Laertes. He just wants him to get people relaxed enough to talk honestly about him. If Reynaldo implies that he already knows about Laertes's faults (like maybe being a a bit of a drinker or gambler or a guy who goes to brothels on the regular), people will be more likely to say, "Oh, yeah. You're right. I saw him in the casino yesterday, and yeah, he does love to bet on roulette." Um...okay. That's one way to find out how you're kid is doing at college. |
POLONIUS God be wi’ you. Fare you well. REYNALDO Good my lord. POLONIUS Observe his inclination in yourself. REYNALDO I shall, my lord. 80 POLONIUS And let him ply his music. REYNALDO Well, my lord. POLONIUS Farewell. Reynaldo exits. Enter Ophelia. How now, Ophelia, what’s the matter? OPHELIA O, my lord, my lord, I have been so affrighted! 85 POLONIUS With what, i’ th’ name of God? | Polonius dismisses Reynaldo. As Reynaldo exits, Ophelia enters, all shook up about something. Polonius wants to know what has her so "affrigthed." |
OPHELIA My lord, as I was sewing in my closet, Lord Hamlet, with his doublet all unbraced, No hat upon his head, his stockings fouled, Ungartered, and down-gyvèd to his ankle, 90 Pale as his shirt, his knees knocking each other, And with a look so piteous in purport As if he had been loosèd out of hell To speak of horrors—he comes before me. POLONIUS Mad for thy love? 95 OPHELIA My lord, I do not know, But truly I do fear it. POLONIUS What said he? | Apparently, Hamlet burst into Ophelia's room while she was sewing. She says Hamlet looked terrible, all pale and wobbly-kneed and disheveled, with his shirt hanging open and his stockings bunched up at his ankles. |
OPHELIA He took me by the wrist and held me hard. Then goes he to the length of all his arm, 100 And, with his other hand thus o’er his brow, He falls to such perusal of my face As he would draw it. Long stayed he so. At last, a little shaking of mine arm, And thrice his head thus waving up and down, 105 He raised a sigh so piteous and profound As it did seem to shatter all his bulk And end his being. That done, he lets me go, And, with his head over his shoulder turned, He seemed to find his way without his eyes, 110 For out o’ doors he went without their helps And to the last bended their light on me. | While in her room, Hamlet grabbed Ophelia by the wrist and sighed for about five minutes. Then he finally made his way out the door without ever taking his eyes off of her. |
POLONIUS Come, go with me. I will go seek the King. This is the very ecstasy of love, Whose violent property fordoes itself 115 And leads the will to desperate undertakings As oft as any passions under heaven That does afflict our natures. I am sorry. What, have you given him any hard words of late? OPHELIA No, my good lord, but as you did command 120 I did repel his letters and denied His access to me. POLONIUS That hath made him mad. I am sorry that with better heed and judgment I had not coted him. I feared he did but trifle 125 And meant to wrack thee. But beshrew my jealousy! By heaven, it is as proper to our age To cast beyond ourselves in our opinions As it is common for the younger sort To lack discretion. Come, go we to the King. 130 This must be known, which, being kept close, might move More grief to hide than hate to utter love. Come. They exit. | Ophelia assures her father that she hasn't said anything extra mean to Hamlet lately. She just followed her dad's orders to keep her distance from Hamlet and not accept anymore of his love letters. Polonius says, "Oops. I thought he was just messing around, but it sounds like he's really in love with you." He and Ophelia exit to tell the King all about the situation. Surely, he'll know what to do. (Seriously? Claudius has been king for like ten minutes. And only because he married his dead brother's wife. We're not sure that's the guy anyone should go to for relationship advice.) |