My wife is unhappy
- Mrs. Slocum is just another one of those housewives who is bored, lonely, and very unhappy. And Slocum doesn't really know what to do about it. Nobody does. Anybody ever try marriage counseling?
- Mrs. Slocum drinks during the day, and much to Slocum's embarrassment tries (and fails) to flirt at parties.
- Mrs. Slocum thinks her husband doesn't love her anymore, and he neither confirms nor denies this.
- Nice.
- Slocum interjects that he does not realize he's slipped into somebody else's personality until he's there, which is why he adopts Andy Kagle's limp, as his wife points out.
- Slocum then goes on a little existential rant in which he ponders what his own true nature is.
- Back to talking about slipping into others' personalities, Slocum mentions how even his own handwriting has been borrowed. He took it from Tom, a twenty-one-year-old employee at the auto insurance agency where he used to work as a teenager.
- Slocum launches into a detailed history of his experiences at the auto insurance agency and wonders whatever happened to Tom (and to himself, for that matter).
- Slocum confesses he learned a while back that Virginia killed herself a few years after he left the agency, and he describes his sexual fantasies about her and how he regrets that he was unable to sleep with her, as much as he really wanted to.
- Slocum once saved Virginia from a near rape, and she immediately continued about her business as if nothing had even happened at all.
- Slocum is afraid of sudden death, saying that's how his brother died.
- Shifting back to the present, he describes his family and how he at times plays the part of the tyrant.
- At the dinner table, the Slocums have conversations largely about—wait for it—nothing.
- Slocum is afraid of his wife, and she is afraid of him. Their frequent miscommunications are routine, and both try to recall if they are friends from one night to the next.
- Mrs. Slocum doesn't do much at home except shop, rest, and sleep. Slocum wonders if his wife is having an affair but doesn't seem to think so: she's not that smart. His words, not ours.
- It's painful for Slocum to recall how his wife used to be, and to see how she is deteriorating before his eyes. But out of self-interest, he prefers to remain apathetic.
- Back in the present, the family dinnertime conversation turns snarky.
- Slocum casually drops that he may be up for promotion, which would mean more money and possibly a new house. Yay.
- Slocum's daughter reacts with glee, knowing promotion means more money and therefore more things like cars, hairspray, and iPhones (oops, not invented yet).
- However, Mrs. Slocum expresses her worries about what will happen if he takes Kagle's job. Sheesh, now Slocum regrets even bringing up his promotion at all.
- Slocum laments over his relationship with his wife. He gripes about how nothing feels new any longer, and about how everything is shallow, predictable, and matter-of-fact.
- After dinner Slocum's wife initiates sex. It isn't nearly as good as it was with his Cuban prostitute earlier that evening, but it'll do, he says.