The Long End of the Stick Isn't So Hot Either (Monday, September 10, 1973)
- Marti and Karl wake up to the police banging on the door of their hotel room. Yup, you read that right. Just when this story couldn't possibly get more messed up, it does.
- They're scrambling to get into their clothes, but the hotel owner uses her key to unlock the door and a parade of cops, Marti's and Karl's moms, and Bill come in. Two kids stumbling into their clothes with the sheets in a hotel bedroom all messed up? Yeah, it looks pretty bad.
- Marti's mom freaks out and starts asking what Karl did to her daughter. Then, Karl's mom gets mad at her for insinuating bad things about Karl. Really, Marti's mom is just interested in how quickly they can get her daughter a pregnancy test.
- Then, everyone except Marti starts yelling at each other and fighting about whether Karl or Marti is to blame for this situation. Great. Just when we got to the bottom of the cat-killing rumor.
- Bill finally breaks through the insanity and point-blank asks Marti and Karl if they had sex. They both say "no" rather loudly and also affirm that they did not come there for the purpose of having sex.
- Marti's mom, however, refuses to believe this and insists they go to the hospital for a pregnancy test or to check for STDs. Then, Karl's mom insists the same thing because there's no telling what diseases Marti gave him.
- To keep the peace between their moms, they go to the hospital. A police officer attempts to tell the moms that he thinks Karl and Marti's testimony can be trusted, but they are too busy fighting over whether Karl got Marti pregnant or Marti got an STD from him.
- Even though he's told that the test is relatively uncomfortable, Karl agrees to get checked for STDs. It's not a nice procedure. That's really all you need to know.
- Bill takes Karl and his mom to an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet. Karl's mom hasn't had a drink in several days and isn't doing well, so Bill agrees to take her home and drop Karl at school.