- Enter William Einhorn, "the first superior man [Augie] knew." (5.1)
- Augie includes him lists with Caesar, Machiavelli, and Ulysses. Hero worship, maybe?
- Einhorn is a cripple and a relatively prosperous and successful businessman, at least until the great crash of 1929.
- Augie goes to work for him and sometimes assists his brother "Dingbat" and his father, "The Commissioner." They run a poolroom, among other things.
- One of his tasks is bringing Einhorn Coca-Cola.
- Simon, seeing him one day, teases him, calling him a butler.
- Augie has many jobs with Einhorn, including helping him dress and reading to him while he's on the toilet.
- Mrs. Einhorn gives him things to do as well, cleaning mostly.
- Einhorn teaches Augie a lot about life and business, quoting Shakespeare on Aristocratic manners to him.
- Despite their closeness, Einhorn reminds Augie that he comes from a different sort of people and that, while Einhorn likes him, he's not a member of the family and not due any inheritance.
- Einhorn teaches Augie not to let his limitations limit what he can do.
- Augie makes a start with Lollie Fewter, a girl who works in the poolroom. Einhorn dallies with her as well, a fact that surprises Augie.
- Now that Augie's a bit older and prone to mischief worthy of gossip, adults he knows begin to pry into his romantic interests and experiences.
- Einhorn describes Chicago to Augie as a violent, merciless place.
- He often has death on his mind.
- Augie figures it's the only real god Einhorn has.