How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
Not once before—and not even tonight with Henrik's hand sweating in his palm—did Einar ever consider himself abnormal, or off the mark. (5.68)
Perhaps describing Einar and Lili as an identity "crisis" is a poor choice of words. As we see here, at first, Einar is perfectly fine with who he is. His discomfort with his body grows as the book goes on.
Quote #5
An hour later, when Einar emerged, it was as if Lili had never been there. Except for the scent of mint and milk, it was as if she didn't really exist at all. (6.21)
Lili is like Einar's superhero identity at first. Einar transforms into her like Clark Kent changes into Superman; in the blink of an eye, Lili is gone and Einar is back in her place.
Quote #6
"Sometimes I feel a need to go find Lili." He'd come to think of it as a hunger. (11.35)
Continuing the superhero analogy, imagine if Bruce Wayne decided he was sick of being Bruce Wayne and just stayed Batman all the time. This is how Einar starts to feel when it comes to Lili. He wants to tilt the balance and be her the majority of the time.