How we cite our quotes: (Chapter.Paragraph)
Quote #4
With all the darkness around me, with my hand in Toby's, I feel like I can say it. "I feel guilty I'm still here…"
"Don't. Please Len."
"But she was always so much… more—" (10.51-53)
Guilt isn't always logical. Never in the book does Lennie actively harm her body or indicate that she wants to die, but in her mind, she is the less interesting, less special sister, and she feels guilty that the "better" sister is the one who is gone.
Quote #5
I can't believe I'm using Bailey to lie to Joe to cover up fooling around with her boyfriend. A new low even for the immoral girl I've become. I'm a Gila monster of a girl. Loch Ness Lennie. No convent would even take me. (16.18)
Now Lennie's moved on from comparing herself to history's worst traitors only to include herself in a category of inhuman monsters. She knows she's getting worse, but again, she still doesn't take any action to improve the situation.
Quote #6
But I'm furious at her for saying what I know is true. Bailey would kill me, and it just makes me want to yell at Sarah more, which I do. "What should I do? Penance? Should I mortify the flesh, soak my hands in lye, rub pepper into my face like St. Rose? Wear a hair shirt?" (27.61)
Boy, those saints were intense. This is one of the first moments in the book when Lennie seems to recognize that endless guilt isn't going to get her anywhere—even if she were to get all saintly with her guilt, it wouldn't erase what she's already done. What do you think Lennie should do?