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PSAT 1.17 Writing Diagnostic
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Check out this PSAT Writing Diagnostic question and determine whether the sentence in question is fine as is, or needs a change.

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PSAT 1.18 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

Understanding Outdoor Lighting
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PSAT 1.19 Writing Narrative Walkthrough

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Changing the Underlined Portion #1241 173 Views


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Description:

PSAT 1.15 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?

Language:
English Language

Transcript

00:00

Thank you We sneak and here's your shmoop du jour

00:05

brought to you by the museum of modern art It's

00:08

the only place where someone might vandalize some of the

00:10

artwork and no one would notice All right check the

00:14

passage Sorry we that we love modern art but some

00:17

of it just like that soup can thing i don't

00:19

get All right How would you change the underlying portion

00:22

below If it all Yes i know i'm a philistine

00:25

his brothers who were involved in founding museum on our

00:28

new york What entrench an experimental buys in the right

00:32

talking like a snooty new yorker there all right And

00:34

here potential answers It was quite lovely all right We'll

00:40

only once in our lives have we ever heard of

00:42

sentence this long without a single comma or other punctuation

00:46

And that was when a car salesman tried to sell

00:48

us the latest prius in under thirty seconds without taking

00:51

a breath It wasn't pretty so as much as the

00:53

original sentence just spits it all out and lets us

00:56

get on with our day We have a feeling there's

00:58

probably something missing here since it's rockefeller's brothers who were

01:01

involved in founding the museum We're probably going to need

01:04

to find a way to segment that bit off from

01:07

the rest of the sentence unless banks he came along

01:10

and manually remove the commas to make some sort of

01:13

statement right No banks Option c has decided to go

01:19

with parentheses A valiant effort but wrong parentheses can be

01:23

used to present information is an afterthought But the content

01:27

here is providing valuable information that describes the brothers and

01:31

why there might be some bias there So we need

01:33

to make the claws more of a focal point Go

01:36

back to sleep Santa will wake you if we media

01:38

option d also Separates the claws this time with dashes

01:43

another good attempt but using dashes here is probably too

01:45

jarring for the flow of the sentence which otherwise trucks

01:48

along rather smoothly Let's call this one plan b in

01:51

case nothing better comes along Ah yes answer Choice b

01:55

hits it on the nose Commas worked perfectly to separate

01:58

this non restrictive clause They make it clear that the

02:01

line is in reference to the brothers while not cluttering

02:05

the sentence or disrupting the tone or rhythm Plus they're

02:08

forty percent off this week Only it's a win win

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