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Check out this PSAT Writing Diagnostic question and determine whether the sentence in question is fine as is, or needs a change.
PSAT 1.18 Writing Narrative Walkthrough. How would you change the underlined portion, if at all?
Understanding Outdoor Lighting 247 Views
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Description:
PSAT 1.19 Writing Narrative Walkthrough
Transcript
- 00:00
Lorraine and here's your shmoop du jour brought to you
- 00:05
by outdoor lighting which is a really disrespectful way to
- 00:08
refer to the sun are checking the following passage understand
- 00:13
of airline national park service and government night sky friendly
- 00:17
All right well how would you change the underlying portion
Full Transcript
- 00:20
below if it all that people who are and here
- 00:23
the potential answers suspense killing me We're big on saving
- 00:27
energy around here In fact as soon as we're done
- 00:29
with this video we're going to take a nice long
- 00:31
nap You're welcome earth let's Check out the sentence That's
- 00:34
going to be a thorn in our side this time
- 00:36
people can say farm or energy by employing night sky
- 00:39
friendly principles and by the people who are using a
- 00:42
more efficient lightbulb At first read this sentence feels more
- 00:46
awkward than a handful of gelatin Seriously why didn't we
- 00:49
put this stuff in the bowl Okay but why does
- 00:52
the sentence feel awkward Well we're dealing with a comparative
- 00:55
phrase here In other words we're talking about two ways
- 00:57
people can save energy both of which start with the
- 01:00
word by in this sentence On one hand we've got
- 01:03
employing Night sky friendly principles And on the other hand
- 01:07
we've got the people who are using a more efficient
- 01:10
lightbulb Wait what the first is a method of reducing
- 01:14
energy while the second refers to the people who are
- 01:16
using an alternate method There's no alignment there So our
- 01:20
comparison is kaput within crash days tomorrow What about be
- 01:24
others who are others People Same thing we need a
- 01:28
more balanced seesaw to make this sentence work So sorry
- 01:31
yonkers We're gonna have to ask that you run along
- 01:34
and play with your little piggy path Option c suggests
- 01:37
the energy saved hoof We suggest you don't even read
- 01:40
aloud the sentence created by inserting that phrase your brain
- 01:44
might start hemorrhaging it's still not another method of saving
- 01:47
energy So the search continues well as it turns out
- 01:50
it's best just to delete the underlying portion entirely without
- 01:54
it we've got people khun say farm or energy by
- 01:56
employing night sky friendly principles then by using a more
- 01:59
if efficient lightbulb Using a more efficient lightbulb is a
- 02:03
method of saving energy so it completes our seesaw and
- 02:05
gives us a comparative phrase that's in perfect working order
- 02:08
d is the one we want okay naptime And to
- 02:11
save a bit more energy we're not even going to
- 02:13
make a joke in this video In fact we're not 00:02:15.998 --> [endTime] even going to say goodbye Oh
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