September: Operation Sausage
- There are only six days left before school starts. Georgia just wants her mother to be a working woman who also has time to do the ironing.
- Georgia decides what to wear for school and rambles on about make-up. At school you're not allowed to wear any, but Georgia would be mortified without even a little foundation. There's also the issue of the beret: Apparently the English have forgotten about their history with France, so Georgia and her classmates are required to wear berets as they walk to school. Georgia thinks they're embarrassing, but all we're thinking about now are baguettes. Mmmm, baguettes.
- Georgia teases her father about the apron and Mum reveals it's his Masonic apron.
- Georgia's cousin James comes for a visit. They used to play together when they were young, and at James's suggestion, they dance around to old records like they did when they were kids. As they dance, Angus jumps on top of Georgia's bedroom door, and strikes them whenever they try to leave the room. Mum eventually gets him down with a can of sardines.
- James and Georgia have a good time together, but when they go to bed, something strange happens: James holds onto Georgia's leg. She doesn't know what to do, so she just stays still. They never speak about. Awkward.
- Libby gets the flu and, in a classic little sister move, blows snot onto Georgia's bed.
- Georgia and her friends hold an Emergency Beret and Other Forms of Tortures meeting. The meeting includes such topics as Georgia's belief that her eyebrows are now normal enough to return to the outside world, Tom (the boy Jas likes who works at a market), and something called Operation Sausage, though it has nothing to do with breakfast. Basically, they plan to each wrap their berets in a roll so they're only slightly visible.
- The boys from Foxwood, an all-boys school nearby, tease the girls about the hats. Georgia has argued with Headmistress Slim about the berets in the past, and the girls went so far as to protest the berets by wearing them over their eyes. This protest led nowhere, though, mostly because no one could see where they were going.
- The girls go to the store where Tom works and devise a plan: While Jas is purchasing something, each girl goes in one by one and greets Jas to give the impression she is popular. The plan goes well and Tom, says "See you later."
- Jas calls Georgia and the girls discuss the meaning of "See you later."
- Georgia learns how to put mascara on without poking her eye and discusses her nose with her mother. She tries fishing for a compliment, but Mum just gives her make-up tips to make it look smaller.
- Mrs. Next Door complains about Angus scaring her poodle. Clearly, this cat's got issues, though to be fair, we wouldn't respond well to someone throwing bricks at us, either. Just sayin'.
- Jas and Georgia work out another plan to see Tom at the market. When they get to the market, however, not only do they encounter Tom, but also Tom's older brother. Georgia refers to him as "Sex God." She's not above objectification.
- Georgia takes up yoga and Libby uses all of Georgia's make-up on her stuffed animals. Go team.
- Georgia wakes up for school late, so she's not able to follow her workout routine.
- As she and Jas run up to the school gates, they run into Sex God; Georgia hopes that he likes the "flushed, stupid idiot" look.
- It doesn't take long for Georgia to remember why she dislikes school so much: She's not allowed to sit next to her friends in class.
- We're introduced to Jackie and Alison. Apparently no one can say no to them, even though they have the dumbest ideas—they want everyone to meet in room 5C tomorrow.
- Georgia finds out through gossip that Sex God's real name is Robbie. It's not Zeus or Apollo or anything, but it'll do.
- Georgia and Jas get invited to a party and assume Robbie will also be attending, prompting a mixture of excitement and self-criticism inside Georgia. Poor girl shifts from total confidence to feeling down in the dumps in a flash because when it comes to boys, Georgia can't help but hate her looks.
- Someone farts in an assembly. It's not a major plot point or anything, but flatulence is always worth noting.
- Georgia and Jas run into Tom before school. They have a short conversation, during which Tom asks if Jas is going to the party. Jas is stoked but Georgia's just irritated with her.
- Georgia takes Libby out for a walk in her stroller; Libby shouts, "I am the Queen!"
- They run into Robbie and he's charming, playfully asking Libby about her hierarchical status, to which she responds, "Yes, I am the Queen and Georgia did a big poo this morning." Yeah, Georgia's just as mortified as you'd expect.
- Remember James? He's getting creepier by the second. He tries to kiss Georgia and then suggests they turn off the lights and play tickly bears; something wet touches Georgia's face, and she hops away. Yikes. The event is never mentioned between them again.
- Jackie, Alison, and Georgia make good on their plan to meet in room 5C. They want to practice levitation, and a girl named Abby Nicols volunteers to be their guinea pig. Everyone puts a finger under her and after some chanting to the dark forces, they're able to lift her up a bit. Well, until they drop Abby hard on the desk and hurt her bum. As she runs out of the room she exclaims, "I think I've broken my bottom!"