- I tell them, "See this mitten? If you put your hand in it, your crops will thrive. That is, as long as you pay me to use the mitten.
- But I warn you of one thing: if anyone in this church has done a sin so horrible that he's too ashamed to admit it, or if there's any woman, young or old, who's cheated on her husband, then you can't buy my relics. So don't bother coming forward.
- Editor's note: genius move.
- But if whoever finds himself without such blame comes up and makes an offering in God's name, I'll absolve him of his sins, by the authority granted me by this order that I have."