- Subtle comes out pretending to be a big shot alchemist who also happens to be a totally pious and religious man.
- (You know, so Mammon doesn't think he's just some kind of greedy science dude who just wants to get rich.)
- Mammon says he's brought his pal Surly to the house so Subtle can convince him that alchemy isn't just a bunch of boloney.
- Subtle warns Mammon that the stone won't form properly if he's greedy and sinful.
- (Get your highlighters out, kids, because that's important because we already know that Mammon is both greedy and sinful.)
- Mammon's assures them that he's practically a saint.
- Lungs/Face enters the room. He and Subtle start using a bunch of scientific jargon about the alchemical process.
- Mammon has absolutely no idea what they're talking about…but he's totally impressed.
- Lungs/Face pretends to go off to check on the furnace where the stone's supposedly being created. (By the way, we have no idea if this furnace actually exists since we never see it on stage.)
- Now Lungs/Face comes back with some made up story about how they need some "fresh materials" to complete the process.
- Mammon whips out some money and hands it over.
- Meanwhile, Surly's been making a bunch of snarky comments about how gullible Mammon's being.
- Soon enough, Surly picks a fight with Subtle and calls him out for being a fraud.
- Subtle goes off on a tangent about how alchemy is legit—he uses a bunch of fancy terms designed to confuse Mammon and Surly and make it sound like he knows what he's doing.
- Mammon, of course, is even more impressed than ever.
- At this point, Surly declares that "alchemy is a pretty kind of game," like a card trick designed to cheat people out of money.
- Then he starts bagging on Subtle for using a bunch of alchemy jargon that doesn't make any sense.
- Now Doll just so happens to show up and Mammon wants to know who she is.
- Lungs/Face convinces Mammon that Doll is a "lady" (a.k.a. an aristocrat) who's been sent there by her brother to be cured of madness.
- Surly can tell right away that Doll is a prostitute and guesses (correctly) that the house is being used as a brothel.
- But Mammon thinks Doll's super hot and wants to meet her. He begs to be introduced.
- Surly tells him he's an idiot for trusting "knaves, and bawds, and whores."
- Now Mammon lies to Surly and pretends that he knows "the lady" but just forgot about it until now so, there's no way she could be a prostitute.
- Lungs/Face needs to get Surly out of the way ASAP so he sends Surly off on a bogus errand to meet "Captain Face" at the Temple Church.
- In an aside, Surly tells us that he knows for sure that Lungs/Face and Subtle are pimps and con men.
- He vows to do everything he can to expose them for what they are.
- Surly leaves and Mammon stays behind to make Lungs/Face promise to help him hook up with the "lady."
- (Oops. Looks like Mammon's already forgotten that the philosopher's stone can't be produced if he's greedy and sinful.)
- Lungs/Face tells him that she's a "rare scholar" who's gone "mad" from studying a bunch of religious books written by a Puritan scholar.
- Mammon thinks this is totally hot and begs Lungs/Face to be his wingman and arrange an introduction.
- Mammon gives him some more money and leaves.